The two faces of the same coin
by Angel-Chan234
Summary: The title says it all, just a bunch of coai oneshots, in both point of view.
1. She smiles

_**She Smiles**_

She wakes up to the sound of a falling spoon. Of course she does, that's what her sleep is now. Even the slightest sound would alert all her six senses. But she didn't need to check to know who the dumbass in _her_ kitchen was early in the morning. But still, before coming down, she took her gun out of the drawer and loaded it. Better safe than sorry, they say.

As she descended the stairs, she could hear a quite toneless humming. She stopped, considering whether to record it and tease the hell out of _him_ later. But decided against it, since it would be a pain to have his voice in her recording list.

She stopped at the kitchen's door, as expected, none other than her oh-so-beloved neighbor had his back to her.

"Why not leave the gun now, Miyano" He said without turning, "still don't get it why you bring the damn thing knowing it's me" he whispers, but she hears him anyways,

She slides the gun onto the kitchen table and takes a seat,

"Maybe I bring it, because I know it's you" She rolls her eyes, "Still not sure why I haven't blown your ass till now" she whispers, but he hears her anyways,

"You can't" he has her back to her yet she could see the grin on his face,

"And why is that, tantei-san" she challenges, they always bickered like that. They both liked it, it felt home.

"Who would make coffee for you then," he turns with two mugs of coffee, a victorious grin on his face.

She has her hands under her chin, supporting her face. She thinks for a moment, before shrugging,

"Fair enough" Then smirks, "I wont kill you, my coffee maker"

He laughs, putting down her gray mug in front her and leaning against the table with his mug in his hand.

"You should smile sometimes, or else you'll get wrinkles before even getting old. I still think you're an 80 years old grandma, but still"

She hums and brings the coffee to her mouth, taking in the aroma of her most favorite thing in the world. And she knew it was perfectly made, just the way she likes it. Only the smell was enough for her to know that.

"You know, a person might think that coffee has the same effect on you as drugs. Some day they're gonna take you away to a rehabilitation centre, declared a drug addict" he comments,

"You'll still a find a way to annoy me there, wont you?" She takes a sip of her coffee, and the taste melts in her mouth, awakening every bit of her. Like a candle lit with fire. She relaxes, now this, this is bliss. Having all her favorite things in a single room.

"By annoying, if you mean sneaking coffee for you, then sure" he chuckles,

"Wouldn't you be arrested too then," she says after a moment, "Since you bring me coffee, every morning if I must say, you would be declared the drug dealer, the one who provides me with the supply" He laughs, running his hands through his perfect hair,

"But unlike you, I would be taken to the prison the, not to the rehabilitation centre"

"It would be nice you know" she smirks, "Seeing the guy who sent many to prisons, behind bars himself"

"But they'll let me out anyways" he says flashing his thousand volts smile,

"Of course, even the police wouldn't be able to handle your dumbassness" she rolls her eyes, "Anyways, whats up today?" she asks eyeing him up and down, "Youre all suited this early in the morning, when we both know you cant get your lazy ass up for work till 10"

"Ahhh, that's rude, Miyano" he feigns hurt, she raises her eyebrows and he sighs, "It's a case, a challenging one I must say"

"And you still stopped by to make me coffee" she asks bemused,

"Uhmm yeah" he smiles sheepishly, "Besides, we both know how strong you make coffee. Its better if I make it, it's still coffee, I know, but at least its not that dark and strong the way you make for yourself. You'll get killed by it someday"

"And you'll label it as homicide and investigate my case, no?" she raises an eyebrow at him and smirks,

"You know me so well" he says with a soft smile,

"Course I do, I'm your partner, aren't I" she tilts her head back, "Now off you go, detective, before someone else dies"

He laughs, putting his empty cup on the table and straightening up,

"If I need help-" he starts

"I'll be there, Kudo-kun" she finishes before him. They both look at each other, a very owning emotion flashes across their eyes. They knew they would be there for each other, no matter the differences between them, no matter the fights. But at the end of the day, they would be backing each other up. They were the two sides of the same coin. Meant to be for each other.

In her case, she knew that whenever she would need help, he would be there. She knew he understood her, more than anyone else. And just one look in the eye was enough for him to know what was going in her mind. Because she lets him, she lowers her ice barrier just for this idiot of a detective, her partner, and her best friend.

She would be there for him too, at any case, at any event, whenever he needed her; she would give everything she has for him. Because she knows, he would do the same for her.

"Be careful" she says with a nod, a silent _stay safe_.

"I will," he assures, a silent promise _I'll be back_.

He walks out of the door, she doesn't bother getting up, he could get out of her house just the way he entered.

"Miyano" he calls from the door, she turns her head to him, "Please eat something, before going to work. At least a breakfast, we both know you won't eat anything else the whole day"

She turns her head back, not even replying. But he knew her better than to expect for it anyways. He shakes his head,

"Bye" he sighs. She waves her hand without turning. And he goes, just like every morning. When she hears her front door closing, she gets up. She washes the mugs and put them in their places, his mug right beside her, side by side. She shakes her head, even though his house was right next to hers; most of his stuff was at her place. He practically lived here. Not that she minded it anyways; it was always good to have someone around. Someone you could be alone with, have nothing to say, but still, feel comfortable in the silence. Someone, whose presence was enough to assure her, she wasn't alone.

She makes her way to her refrigerator to see what she was lacking, so she could get it on her way back. Well most of her supplies were finished by that idiot. She herself eats nothing, like she does, but not that much. But she still keeps her supply of food filled, because she knows that his fridge is always empty. And even if she fills it, he would still come over to her place whenever he is hungry. But not during a case, if he has a case going on, he would eat nothing until he cracks it up and arrests the culprit.

She opens the door of the refrigerator, she pauses, a little bit surprised when she sees a slice of blueberry cheesecake. She gets the plate out and closes the refrigerator. She picks the small note and reads it,

_I know you enough to know you wouldn't get yourself something to eat. Don't waste it,_

_P.S: There's no bacon left, and no orange juice=)_

You idiot, she thinks before telling herself she won't eat this. Not after reading the note. But somehow, after getting ready for work, she ends up eating it anyway. And quite surprisingly, it tasted even sweeter.

She smiles, not that he could see her anyways.

**A/N: So as mentioned, these are just a bunch of random coai oneshots. Probably will make them a multi chapter. Depends on my mood. Hopefully will update shinichi's pov tomorrow.**

**As usual, reviews are highly appreciated and may have an affect on the pace with which I update.**


	2. He Smiles

He Smiles.

He wakes up a bit earlier today. Megure-keibu called him last night. Apparently there was a case MPD couldn't solve. Again. This was his routine since they brought down the organization. He would help the police whenever they called him, but he tended to avoid going public.

He studied the as files till late at night. Now he was getting ready to go, even though there was quite some time left, but he had _something_ to do. Just like every morning. Things changed after the downfall of the organization, but some didn't. And that included his friendship with his beloved partner.

He gets ready and goes over to his oh-so-dear neighbor's house. He enters using the spare key he has, and as expected, the scientist was still asleep. Probably stayed up the night as usual.

The professor was out of the country, his Conan gadgets got so famous that he started making them on orders. Currently he was in Los Angeles.

He quietly makes his way to the kitchen, having done this so many times; he already memorized the way in the dark. He turns the kitchen lights on and starts making what he's here for; coffee. Not that _she_ couldn't make it herself; it's just that the way she makes it, it's kind of toxic. So he makes it for her, just the way she likes.

When he was almost done with his work, he dropped a spoon intentionally. Knowing _she_ would surely wake up to the slightest sound. That woman was so paranoid. He wished she would at least enjoy now. Live a carefree life. But with a past like _hers_, he guesses that's impossible.

As expected, he heard her door open, and her almost inaudible footsteps on the stairs. When he feels her presence in the door way, he states what he's sure is true. Although he's quite sure that she knew it's him, but still she bothers bringing her gun. He whispers that, knowing she'll hear him anyways.

Her reply made him grin, not that she could see it anyways. Since he had his back to her. Adding the final touches to the coffee he turns to her. She was in her pajamas, looking effortlessly beautiful. Her face was calm and bored, just like the little evil-eyed-yawny-girl she is. Not girl, _woman_. He corrected himself. He wished she would smile sometimes; it would make her look even prettier. He says that, with a few adjustments of course.

He hands her the coffee, and she closes her eyes to its aroma. Her face relaxes, peace all over it. She kind of looks better like that. At least, it was a true face of hers. He liked the comfort caffeine gave to her, but again he wishes she would control it. She drinks a lot of coffee, just like drunk man. But rather than making her drunk, coffee sobers her up.

They settle into a comfortable argument. She fires, he fires back. But at the end, she wins. She expresses her surprise about him making her coffee even though he had to go. He laughs sheepishly. Some things are more important. And you get so used to it that it becomes a part of your routine. And you cannot not do that. Making coffee for her was a way of constantly reminding her, that he is here for her, and he always will.

When she mentions being his partner, he smiles softly. She always complained about being his assistant, and he always reminded her of being his partner.

"If I need help-" he knows he doesn't have to say it,

"I'll be there, Kudo-kun" she completes it. Of course she does, he knows that. Whenever he needs help, he knows she will be there. Giving everything she has. They were partners, like Watson and Holmes. The two faces of the same coin.

In his case, he knew she will be by his side, no matter what. He knew she understood him, understood his love for mysteries. He knew she could hear his unsaid words. He would confide her in everything. He trusted her more than anyone; she was his partner and his best friend.

He would be there for her too, at any time, at any event, whenever she needed him; he would give everything he has for her. Because he knows, she would do the same for him.

"Be careful," she nods, and he gets the silent _stay safe._

"I will," he assures her, promising that _he'll be back_. He always will.

He walks out of the door and as expected, she doesn't follow. Just before he exits, he remembers the small gift he brought. Her favorite blueberry cheesecake, he knew he wouldn't bother making breakfast for herself. She never does, running days on just caffeine. He really wants her to leave all that, he wants her to have a normal life. Just like every other teenager.

"Miyano!" he calls from the door way, she turns her head towards him, "Please eat something, before going to work. At least a breakfast, we both know you won't eat anything else the whole day"

She doesn't reply, not that he expected to hear one. "Bye," He sighs, no matter what he did; she would never accept his help. She would do everything on her own. He knew she could handle everything, but he wanted her to know that she doesn't have to. Not all the time.

She waves her hand, with her back towards him, and he goes out.

They both knew she spends days without eating. She even fainted once due to fatigue. And overworking herself. She never realizes that in the process of fixing her mistakes, which were never hers in the first place, she's slowly killing herself. Torturing herself for sins she never committed. Blaming herself for all that has happened, and all that is happening. She lost everything, but now she's losing herself too. And that's the worst kind of lost. The worst pain. He knew it wasn't easy for her, he knew there was no way she wouldn't feel the pain, carry the burden. But he only wished she would share it. He only wishes that she would trust him enough to let down her guard in front of him. They could go through this together. And that's what he wants. He doesn't want her to act like everything is fine, in fact he wants her to act like nothing is fine. He doesn't want her to leave the past behind, he wants her to face it, by his side. He wants her to break, only in front of him, he wants no walls. He tries his best to prove himself worthy enough. So she would share her pain and sorrow with him. He wants to be her someone to fall back on.

The whole day went rough; he hadn't eaten anything since morning. This was his routine whenever he was on a case. He wouldn't stop till he cracks it up, corners the culprit and gives a spectacular deduction show. The case was interesting, not that easy, and he liked that. He was busy inspecting the crime scene, interrogating the suspects. It was late in the evening when he came back to his office. He loosened his tie and only then did he notice the noodles on his desk. He was taken back for a second, before noticing the small note with it.

Written in the hand writing he could recognize almost anywhere was,

_Don't tell others to do things you don't do yourself._

_P.S: I'm not buying bacons._

He smiles, not that she could see him anyway.

_**A/N: I wanted to post both the point of views together but was busy. From now on, I'll try to post both of them together. Each two shots, is completely independent of others. They have nothing in common. They are just a bunch of random oneshots written in both perspectives.**_

_**Reviews are as always, welcomed. **_


	3. Her fear

**Her fear.**

**A/N: For the request, "A coai oneshot of BO fight". Shinichi' POV will be posted soon.**

**R&R people, more requests still acceptable=)**

"Haibara?" his head pops in through the slightly opened door, "Finally! I've been looking everywhere for you" he enters and closes the door behind him,

"What now?" She was sitting on the bed, tying the laces of her boots,

"Just wanted to ask you how you're doing," Kudo Shinichi leans against the door,

"I'm fine, Kudo-kun. I'm fine" she says as she gets up and stands in front of the mirror.

She wasn't fine; in fact she was everything but fine; terrified, anxious, excited yet scared. She looks at her reflection, Miyano Shiho, dressed completely in black. The color she hates the most, but has to wear it today. Black tank top, with plain black jeans and black boots. She was armed and completely ready for the battle. But that didn't mean she was fine, she was literally screaming behind her poker face, but she would never ever say that to him.

Not that he needed to hear it, to know it.

"We'll make it Haibara," he sighs, "We'll do it"

Today was the fight of the century, the one every single person waited for. Today, they bring that god damn organization down. The FBI, CIA, MPD and many local agencies that were after it, were going to participate.

Shiho had made the permanent antidote a week ago, and both of them returned to their original forms. She was going to take part in the fight too, much to Shinichi's dismay. She wasn't going to hide or run away today, she was gonna fight, and take back everything they ever stole for her.

"I know we will" she says monotonously. Kudo now stands behind her, their reflection side by side. She puts her bullet proof vest on and he tightens the straps from behind. She avoids his gaze, knowing very well that the moment he looks in her eyes, he'll know how scared she is. The moment she looks up, his eyes lock with hers and there you go. He sees it,

"We're gonna be fine, trust me" he gives her shoulder a squeeze,

"What if we don't?" she turns around to look at him directly, "What if this all is a trap? What if they know what we're planning and are already prepared?" she babbles, fear and panic across her usually cold face, "What if we lose? What if Gin finds us first" her face tightens at his name, "What will you do then?! What if he sees me, or you? He won't let us alive-"

He pulls her into a hug, wrapping his arms securely around her, and she immediately relaxes. True, she doesn't like anyone touching her, but sometimes it's acceptable, only with him. Because his touch relaxes her, calms her down.

"I won't let anything happen to you, Haibara" he says gently, "I promised I'll protect you, right?"

"It's not me I'm worried about" she says, her head against his shoulder. She didn't give a damn to what happens to her, she doesn't care. But she can't lose him, if anything happens to him, she will _never_ forgive herself.

He smiles softly, "I'll be fine," she raises her head to look at him,

"Promise me, Kudo-kun" she says sternly, "Promise me you'll be careful, that you won't go risking your life for nothing." her face softens, "Promise me you'll stay safe"

"Yes Ma'am, I promise" he grins, "Same goes for you, promise me that you'll make sure to take care of yourself, nothing else matters"

"I will" she nods her head, "But between me and you-"

"You'll chose yourself, and I'll take care of the rest" he cuts her before she could finish that awful sentence,

"No Kudo-kun, whatever we do, we'll do it together, if we live, we live together, if something happens to you-" her voice breaks, she can't even complete that sentence.

"Nothing will happen, I promise, we'll both make it, together like always" he pulls her into his embrace again, "There won't be a need for doing anything stupid."

The door opens and they pull apart quickly,

"Ten minutes to go" Akai Shuichi informs them, and then turns to shiho, "You good?" she gives a stiff nod, her face quickly masked in a matter of seconds.

He closes the door again and they both look at each other,

"Don't let me down, Holmes" she smirks,

"As long as you're by my side, dear Watson" he grins. They continue looking at each other before Shiho leans in, giving him a soft kiss which he returns immediately.

"Forever and always" she whispers with her forehead touching his. They remain in that position for a while, eyes closed, his hand caressing her cheek whiles hers in his hairs.

And then they let go.

They get into the jeep, hand in hand, his giving strength to hers. As they revise the whole ambush.

Before getting off, she gives him a smile, not a smirk; a true smile, reserved only for him.

"If something happens to me-" he starts but she cuts him off,

"There's no me without you" she says and gets off. They both had to go different ways, much to their dislike, but shinichi had to go with group A, the ones to attack on the main building, while Shiho with group C, the ones responsible for the labs and offices.

And thus the fight begins.

"Dang it!" she curses as a bullet grazes her shoulder, their group's job was done, but now she had to find Kudo. She had to, there was this feeling in the pit of her stomach, she knew something was wrong, and she wasn't going to sit idle and wait. She wasn't a damsel in distress waiting for her knight in shining armor. She wasn't Mouri Ran.

"God damn it Rye! Where is he?" she shouts into her ear piece as she fires at two more people, a bullet straight to the heads killing them instantly,

Rye was with the snipping team, and probably the one responsible for 80% of the killings. Along with that, he kept everyone safe, killing people they couldn't see. But mostly, his job was to keep her safe.

"I can't see him," he lies fluently; he could see him in the opposite direction, in a hand to hand combat with Vodka. He knew Gin was somewhere near, and he couldn't let her anywhere near that bastard. Besides, somebody requested something, and he wouldn't deny that request.

"I'm gonna shoot your eyes once we get out of here" she says with venom and he couldn't stop himself from chuckling. But the smile was erased as soon as he saw Chianti aiming at shiho,

"To the right, Sherry" he instructs and she follows, and a bullet lands where she was before. He immediately aims at Chianti and effectively kills her.

"Thanks" she mutters as she keeps running, killing dozens and avoiding dozens. A man suddenly appears out of nowhere and shoots at her, a bullet lands on her shoulder as she hisses in pain, but that didn't stop her from firing at him. He avoided them mostly, but a bullet hit his leg. He was good, she observes as she shoots his gun, which flies away. He curses and lunges at her, she avoids his punch as she elbows him in the gut. He stumbles backwards but soon takes out his knife and attacks again, before she can retaliate, somebody kicks the knife out of his hands,

"Why don't you pick someone your size, Brandy" Bourbon smirks and they get into a fierce fight, "I've got him, go" he shouts at her and she runs away.

"Where do you think you're going, sherry?" Vermouth raises her eyebrows at her, with that sickening smile. Shiho was panting, the bullet on her right arm numbing it. "You don't have your silver bullet to save you now, do you?"

"Where is he?!" she says through clenched teeth,

"Ahh, how would I know?" Vermouth tilts her head,

Shiho shoots and she gracefully avoids her bullets, "You actually think you can beat your seniors?" she smirks, "Don't forget that we're the one who taught you everything"

Shiho aims again and misses her,

"My turn, sweetheart" She says as she shoots shiho in the leg. "See?" she blows her gun,

"Vermouth I need to find him" shiho looks at her; she knew that Kudo was Vermouth's weak point. "I need to find him before Gin does."

"What if he already did?" she asks innocently as she tilts her head to the back of the building, where Kudo Shinichi was standing face to face with Gin.

"Sherry get out of there!" Rye shouts and she ignores him, sprinting in Kudo's direction. She won't let anything happen to him, _I'm sorry Kudo-kun, for I can't keep my promise_. She thinks as she reaches them, just in time for Gin to raise his gun, but before he could shoot Kudo, she shoots his arm and he turns to look at her, leaning against a pillar, panting heavily. Blood oozing from her shoulder and leg,

Kudo and Gin were both shocked, but Gin recovered quickly,

"Well well well, look what we got here" he snarls, "Our filthy little rat came to save her knight in shining armor."

"Leave her alone, Gin" within moments, Kudo was in front of her, hands shielding her from him.

"The detective and the traitor, what a nice combination" Gin laughs as he loads his gun, "You can have your happily ever after in hell!" he shoots and shiho didn't know what happened or how it happened, but all she knew was the voice in her head that screamed _not him_, the next thing she knew was that she was in front of him, taking the bullet meant for him as she falls backwards.

She feels Kudo's arms wrapped around her, as he screams and somewhere in the background Gin falls to the ground too. A bullet straight to the heart, by none other than Kudo's gun.

"Haibara!" he shouts as he shakes her, "Hold on, please!" he was begging her, her vision was blurred, and she could only hear half of what he was sayin,

"Why did you-" "You're an idiot-" "Gosh the blood-" "Hold on, please" was that tears running down his cheeks? She couldn't see.

"You promised-" he was applying pressure at her wound. Begging her to stay awake. "Please Shiho, Please don't die on me" He used her first name; it was nice hearing it from him.

She raises her blood stained hand and cups his face, he places her hand quickly over hers, "Please, Please, Please" he was shaking his head, pleading none stop.

"I'm sorry" she whispers, _I'm sorry I couldn't keep my promise_.

"Shiho don't, please don't, we'll make it. You promised" he was blabbering. Crying, shaking his head. But she couldn't help it.

She smiles at him, "_I remain, my dear heisie Holmes, very truly yours."_

And her hand falls limply to the side. Another promise, she couldn't keep.

**A/N: I'm sorry? I really am= ( **


	4. His Fear

He was looking everywhere for her. He checked the common room, her room, his room, everywhere. He couldn't find her, which was panicking him. Although he trusted her but, he was afraid she'd run away. Again. He was totally against her participating in the battle, but that arrogant woman wouldn't listen to him, she never did. He was afraid for her safety, but he only agreed when she said,

"_It's the only way I'll get over them, Kudo-kun. I need to face them myself. Only then would I finally be free"_

It was true anyway, rather than running away he always believed that facing your fears, is the only way you'll get past them.

He spotted Akai Shuichi down the hall, FBI member who once infiltrated the organization, under the alias Moroboshi Dai. Codename; Rye. He fell in love with Miyano's sister, who he's sure knew his true identity, yet loved him. After Miyano Akemi's death, he blamed himself, for not being able to save her. But he, Kudo Shinichi, believed that the real reason for Akemi's death was he himself. If only he'd arrived sooner, haibara's sister wouldn't be dead. Haibara blamed both of them, although she no longer says it anymore. But deep down, he knows she blames them, just as she blames herself. She trusts him now, more than anyone but she would never trust Akai.

"Akai-san, have you seen Miyano?" he asked him, because he knew that Akai kept track of her every move. He swore to protect her, and that was another common thing between them.

"The bunkers, third one to the right. Jodie informed me that she's getting ready" he nodded and ran towards the bunkers.

* * *

"Haibara?" he popped his head in and was relieved to see her there, she was tying her laces. They talked, and it pained him that she was still hiding her fears behind her façade. He wished she would let her guard down around him, and be honest.

So without hearing the words, he assured her. He stood behind her, their reflection side by side, and he wished time would stop there. Where they both were together, like Holmes and Watson.

She was avoiding his eyes as he worked his way with the bullet proof vest. But the moment she locked eyes with him, he saw. He saw the fear, the hesitation, and the doubts.

He pulled her into his embrace, and she didn't resist. He knew she hated being touched, but he also knew when she needed somebody to reassure her. And that somebody was him. His touch relaxed her, calmed her down. And he knew that. He wished he could carry her burden, or at least lessen it. And if not, he hoped he could lend her his strength.

He gave her shoulder a squeeze, a silent reassurance. But that was all she needed to lower her walls, to let him see a glimpse of the _real_ her. She came down to her worst fear, which he knew already; Gin. He didn't let her complete her sentence; he wouldn't let her get worried about her safety. But figures, it wasn't her safety she was afraid for. Like always, she wouldn't give a damn about herself. All that mattered to her was the safety of the people around her, his safety. That's all that mattered to her.

So she made him promise, and he did, but only to lessen her worries. To calm her down, but when she said, what he knew she would, he stopped her. He wasn't going to let her choose him over herself.

And that's exactly what she wouldn't allow too. They both weren't going to let the other die for their sake.

He would make sure there won't be a need for choosing. He would make sure they both get out of this, together.

Akai informed them that it was time to go. He looked at her.

"Don't let me down, Holmes" she smirks, trying to mask the anxiety.

"As long as you're by my side, dear Watson" he grins, immediately lightening the mood. They continue looking at each other before Shiho leans in, giving him a soft kiss which he returns immediately.

"Forever and always" she whispers with her forehead touching his. They remain in that position for a while, eyes closed, his hand caressing her cheek whiles hers in his hairs.

And then they let go.

* * *

They get into the jeep, hand in hand, his giving strength to hers. As they revise the whole ambush.

Before getting off, she gives him a smile, not a smirk; a true smile, reserved only for him.

"If something happens to me-" he starts but she cuts him off,

"There's no me without you" she says and gets off. And those words leave a sickening feeling in the pit of his stomach. He realized, that the only family left for her, was him. He was her everything, if she loses him, she loses everything. This gave him another reason to make it out alive. _For her_.

They both had to go different ways, much to their dislike, but shinichi had to go with group A, the ones to attack on the main building, while Shiho with group C, the ones responsible for the labs and offices.

And thus the fight begins.

* * *

He was off with the main team, but constantly checked on shiho through Akai. His aim was to find and finish off Gin before he could reach her. It was a tough fight, and only when he came face to face with vodka, did Akai inform him;

"She's looking for you."

"Don't let her find me," he warned him as he dodged two more bullets. He had some minor injuries, result of some fights, but no bullet injury till now. Thankfully.

"Why not, detective?" Vodka snickered; he knew who he was referring to, "I'm sure Gin would love a reunion with that little traitor." And this sentence boiled his blood as he punched Vodka in the gut, and he fell backwards.

"Don't you dare take his filthy name next to hers!" he growled like a wild beast.

"Heh, what a pity. You both are gonna die anyways." Vodka spitted out some blood, "But she, she's going to-"

_Bang_. He didn't even let him finish his sentence as he planted a bullet in his head.

"Don't. Say. Her. Name." he gritted his teeth.

"Oh wow, look whose back" he turned and saw gin smirking at him. "Came back to finish what we started?"

"Exactly," he said coldly, "Just like Vodka, Gin, the next bullets gonna be in your head."

He loaded his gun and fired, but no bullet came out.

"Damn it!" he cursed, he was out of bullets. Gin laughed; a cold humorless laugh.

"Looks like the fate's not on your side anymore," he said as he raised his gun. But just as he was about to shoot, a bullet landed on his shoulder, startling him. They both look at the source, and Shinichi's eyes widen in alarm. There, leaning against the pillar, blood flowing from her shoulder and leg, was shiho. Her face was full of bruises, and he winced. But Gin recovered quickly.

"Well well well, look what we got here" he snarls, "Our filthy little rat came to save her knight in shining armor."

"Leave her alone, Gin" within moments, Kudo was in front of her, hands shielding her from him.

"The detective and the traitor, what a nice combination" Gin laughs as he loads his gun, "You can have your happily ever after in hell!" he shoots, and Kudo closed his eyes, waiting for the bullet to come. He heard a bang, and he saw blood spurt. He didn't know what happened, all he knew is that the pain never came. He saw Shiho's body in front of him, falling backwards, and he caught her in his arm. He screamed as realization hit him. _She took the bullet for him_. In less than seconds, like a mad dog he took her gun and shot Gin. His lifeless body fell to the ground but he didn't care. He only cared about his partner that was bleeding to death in his arms. His best friend, his Watson. His Irene.

"Haibara!" he shouts as he shakes her, "Hold on, please!" he was begging her, her eyelids were opening and closing, but he was shouting at her;

"Why did you do that!" he screamed, "You're an idiot, Haibara! I told you not to" he didn't know what to say.

"Gosh the blood, it's too much!" it was everywhere, on her, on him.

"Hold on, please" he didn't realize the tears streaming down his face, in fact, he didn't care. He wasn't going to lose her. He _can't_ lose her.

"You promised you wouldn't" he was applying pressure at her wound. Begging her to stay awake. "Please Shiho, Please don't die on me" he was trembling, his whole insides shaking with anger, disbelief, sorrow.

She raises her blood stained hand and cups his face, he places her hand quickly over hers, "Please, Please, Please" he was shaking his head, pleading none stop.

"I'm sorry" she whispers, _I'm sorry I couldn't keep my promise_.

"Shiho don't, please don't, we'll make it. You promised" he was blabbering. Crying, shaking his head. This wasn't how it was supposed to end; he promised he'll protect her. He failed her, just like Akemi.

Even in the gravest of times, she couldn't resist the joke, just like the royal and effortlessly elegant woman she was.

She smiles at him, "_I remain, my dear heisie Holmes, very truly yours."_

Her eyelids fall, and he freezes. _No, it can't be. She can't be. No. No. No._

And only then did he realize what she meant when she said,

_There's no me, without you._

* * *

_**A/N: Sorry for the delay people!**_

_**The next prompts will be welcomed, through comments or PM.**_

_**Until next time,**_


	5. Her Dilemma

**Lets hope the other POV is finished soon, until then enjoy=)**

She entered her home, her mind still on the question she was asked moments ago. She sighed, she desperately needed a long shower to relax her tense muscles. Out of habit, she checked the windows and the back door, only to find them locked, the way she did before getting out. This paranoia would kill her someday. It was truly said, _the fear of the fear, is worse than the fear itself._

She put her bag on the bed, and went into the bath. Halfway through it, she heard the front door open. She sighed again, great. Rather than easing her troubles, faith always had a way to make it worse.

"Miyano!" somebody shouted, and after sometime she heard a knock on her door, "Oi, you in there?!"

"No kudo-kun," she rolled her eyes, though he couldn't see, "There's somebody else in my bathroom." She rubbed her temples, a headache was starting to grow.

"Come out quick, I'm hungry!" Kudo said and she turned off the shower. Even though he could perfectly eat at his place, he always had to eat at her's. Not that she minded it anyways. Wrapping a towel over her damp hairs, she wore her clothes and got out.

"Why don't you go over to your girlfriends place?" She asked, annoyed as she saw him sprawled on her bed.

"I can't stand her father." He shivered unconsciously, "Besides, she isn't my girlfriend, _yet_" He said the last part to himself, but she heard him anyways. Ignoring the slight ache in her chest, she got out of the room.

"Just order some pizza," she said coldly, "I'm not in the mood to cook, or eat."

"Hey!" he ran after her, "You just came back, and I bet you haven't eaten anything all day long, at least eat something now." She ignored him.

"Pleaseee," he said with his puppy eyes look,

"You know that doesn't work on me, don't you?" She raised her eyebrows,

"It does," He grinned, "Now will you please eat something?" She sighed, _again_, why didn't he ever make things easy for her.

"I'll order the pizza!" he said with an excitement of a 5 years old kid. Sometimes, she forgets his real age. The headache was increasing, she considered taking a pill but decided against it. _Not yet_.

She set up the table for two, still thinking about the_ question_.

"How was your day?" Kudo asked as he went through the channels, they were waiting for the pizza to arrive.

"Fine, yours?" She looked at him,

"Great. I've got this real tricky case. I hoped you could help me with it." She would, he knew that. She always helped him with the difficult cases. After all, she was his best friend, and partner.

They continued watching the television until the doorbell ringed, "I'll get it." He said before running off. She got up too, and got a seat at the table.

"Your pizza, madame!" He said dramatically, holding the box in one hand and bent down to place it in front of her.

"Thankyou Monsieur!" She smirked and he laughed. She liked it this way, the easy atmosphere between them. He took a seat in front of her and started eating like he hadn't eaten in centuries. She shook her head, he was a man child.

They continued eating, with him telling her about the case, and she listening to it absent minded. She was distracted by the very question.

"Miyano?" In the middle of God knows what, he called her and she came back to earth.

"Umm yeah," She rubbed her temples again. She needed a pill. "Sorry, what were you saying?"

He sighed, "I asked if everything was alright, you seem distracted,"

Of course she was, she finally decided to ask him, because, directly or indirectly, the question revolved around him. And she just needed a push from his side, a confirmation. She thought about it, and decided to throw her cards. His reaction would settle things up.

"Hakuba-kun asked me out," She said after a moment, "He says he likes me." She observed his expression, searching for even the tiniest hint of annoyance or disapproval, but he continued chewing on his bite like a dog.

"So, whats the big deal?" he swallowed, "He's a nice guy, and he's got guts if he asked you out," he grinned, and she rolled her eyes.

"He said he wanted to take me out for dinner, tomorrow." One last try, it doesn't hurt.

"Okay then, go with him." He said as if it was the easiest answer and she was the dumbest one to to dwell on it.

She nodded, that was her final try, her final way of asking if she meant anything to him. But of course, she was just a friend. At the end, he would always go to Mouri Ran. She was his angel, his Irene. And Shiho was nothing compared to her.

She pushed her plate away, her appetite gone with just half a piece of pizza.

"At least finish it, please, for me?" Why did he always make it so hard?

"I'm done, I have a severe headache," She got up. He was immediately worried,

"Headache? You want me to take you a doctor? Are you alright?" He bombarded her with questions,

"I'm fine, I'll just take a pill," She said, trying to compose herself.

"You cant take a pill with your stomach empty. At least eat something." He wasn't letting go either. "Miyano-"

"Kudo-kun!" She cut him off. "Stop it, I told you I'm fine!" She said in the coldest tone she could muster, "I can take care of myself, like always."

"I know you can," he said softly, "But that doesn't mean you have to, all the time"

"Kudo-kun, just stop it." _Stop caring for me, stop being nice to me, stop making me fall harder for you_.

"You can finish eating and put the rest in the fridge," she says with her back to him, as she climbs the stairs.

"Hope it doesn't hurt much!" He calls after her as she closes the door to her room. She sighs for the umptieth time this day. She takes two pills, rather than one, along with a sleeping pill and a useless hope of the tiniest bit of sleep.

As expected, she doesn't sleep the night as well.

The next whole day goes by with her thinking about her date that night. And when the time comes, as always he's there.

"I came by to help you get ready for your datteee," he nudges her in the ribs and she throws him a death glare.

"Oh please, I don't want Hakuba-kun to get a heart attack with your sense of fashion," she says as she rummages through her wardrobe,

"Already caring for him?" He teases. And she ignores the slight heartache, she wasn't some immature girl to let her feelings get the best of her. She was very well able to conceal, and not feel. At the end, it didn't matter. She knew where his heart lied, and it was her mistake to even have the tiniest bit of hope.

"Honestly, what are you going to wear?" He asks seriously, and she sighed. "I don't know,"

He pushes her aside as he shuffles some clothes. "What about this?" He takes out a knee length black gown. It was completely blank, with just a gold waste belt.

"Not that bad," she hums, she did not expect him to chose such a decent thing. "Really," she takes the dress from him and examines it. It was from the days she was still in that organisation. She wore it once on an ball, celebrating the successful assassination of the vice president of Japan.

"Go check it on," he says as he pushes her into the washroom. She comes out moments later,

"Hows it?" she asks as she looks at herself in the mirror. The dress wasn't looking bad with her, in fact, it highlighted her curves. And her milky white skin was even more illuminated by the color. Her legs and arms flawlessly glowing. The dress came to her knee, and the top to her neck, decent and modest.

He stood gaping at her, she saw his expression and turned around,

"It looks bad?" she asked noticing his muteness. "I knew it looked bad!" she decided the dress wasn't good enough, and that's why he was dumbfounded right now.

"Miyano, you look, beautiful." He said after sometimes, "I just didn't-" _know you were that pretty_. "Never mind, the dress is perfect."

she nodded her head in a silent thankyou.

"Lets work with the hair now!" He says with a spark in his eye. They work silently, him watching her as she gets ready, with a few remarks here and there. She guesses that's the best way between them. The easy relationship. That's the beauty of their friendship, and she swears she would die rather than ruin her only comfort zone. In a relationship or not, they were the bestest of friends, and sometimes that matters only.

She laughs at his joke, and he looks at her teasingly. She was okay with this, boyfriend or not, he cared for her, looked after her, and was here at every step. That's what mattered to her, him by her side. Even as a partner, because sometimes, the best relation is like Holmes and Watson. After all, Irene always leaves. What remains is the friendship one has. And sometimes, even the tiniest of mistake can ruin the strongest of friendships. Sometimes, in the hurry of making new relations, we ruin the charm and beauty of the already present ones. And a friendship can never ever be the same again, if we decide to get out of the friend zone only to be nothing. From strangers, to best friends, to everything and then just to be lovers, we go back to strangers again.

"And Done!" He stood looking at her with pride, as if she was his greatest art piece. While in reality she did all the work, with him giving a suggestion or two.

She stood in front of the mirror again, looking at her complete look. She had tied her hairs in a bun, with a single red rose. She didn't like to wear makeup, but Kudo persuaded her to wear at least a lipstick. She went with wine red. She wore her pearl earrings, the ones belonging to her dead sister. To sum it all, she wore black heels, and a black Fusae bag; a gift from Kudo on her last birthday.

Kudo was looking at her proudly before he clasped his hands, "Just a second!" He said as he remembered something and dashed out of the room.

"Kudo-kun!" She shouted behind him, "The hell is wrong with that guy!" she shook her head and turned back to the mirror. She was looking breathtaking, she knew it. The perfect explanation of perfect. She smiled sadly, she was looking perfect on a date that was far from perfect. The only reason she said yes, was to move on. She cant be stuck on him forever. She'd had her life at pause for quite a long time now. Its time she finally lets go of him.

Minutes later he came with a black velvet box.

"Whats this?" She raised her eyebrow,

"The final perfect touch to your perfect look," He smiled as he took out a heavy pearl necklace out of the box. "It's Mum's. But she never once wore it, she said you could use it." He puts it around her neck from behind. She looks at it on her, touching it. It was real expensive. And so pretty. It completed her look, but,

"Kudo-kun, I cant wear that." She looks in his eyes, "Its, Its so expensive and, Its your mothers, I cant wear it."

"Why not, besides, your'e much more expensive than this necklace," He says charmingly with a grin. He locks the hook behind her neck and looks at her.

"He's one hell of a lucky guy, I must say." He smiles softly. They look at each other for a while, and only then, just for a nano second, she sees it in his eyes. What she wanted to see all this while,

The bell rings and she sighs,

"You sure about this?" She asks him, one last time.

"Its not good to keep a gentle man waiting," He changes the topic.

"If anything goes wrong-" she starts,

"I'll be the one to personally murder him," He smirks.

"You sure you have it in you?" She teases,

"Anything for my Watson!" He smiles.

They both come down together, and he opens the door. He greets Hakuba real nicely, and she hears,

"Take good care of her, or else, you sure know about the ways a detective learns from his career to kill someone." She chuckles, and hears Hakuba's equally challenging tone,

"Wouldn't take a detective to know better," After all, Hakuba Saguru, was a detective who came all the way from London.

Before letting Shiho go, he whispers,

"I'm just a call away, Miyano. Don't hesitate." And she nods her head before taking Hakuba's extended arm. They both go over to his car, and he opens the door to her side, like the true gentleman he is.

"You look stunning, Miyano-chan" he says with his famous charming smile. She notices it isnt as charming as the girls in her department says. She would rate _somebody_ else's smile more charming.

"Thank you, Hakuba-kun." She fakes a smile as he gets into the car. She never looks back, not at him. She couldn't. Not without letting desires win over.

The whole date meant nothing to her, she felt nothing.

Maybe, because she had left her heart behind. He was the one who lit this fire, and she was the one getting burnt.


	6. His Dilemma

**Here you go, I hope y'all are satisfied. Do correct me if Im wrong somewhere.**

He had been working all day long on this tough case. A man, found dead in his hotel room, with the doors and the windows locked from inside. Police seems to find it a natural death, but, his room was out of order, as if somebody broke into it, and there was this weird sort of smell which he couldn't pin point. He decided he would ask Miyano to help him out, she always does. No matter how busy she is, she'd always find time for him. He often joked about her being the most free person on the face of the earth, since she was always available for him. He texts, and she would reply within a minute, and that's why when she doesn't reply back, he always gets worried. But it's mostly due to her foul mood. She and her mood swings. They're so tiring. But, he can handle them.

But he knew, she was the busiest person on the face of the planet, but, she would put her work to pause just for him. She was never free, she would make herself for him.

So, when he's back from work, he directly goes over to her place. He sees her shoes in the shoe rack, which meant she was at home. He checked the kitchen, then the living room, and lastly he went up to her room when he couldn't find her anywhere. He heard the water running in the bath, so she was taking a shower. He calls her out, and she confirms being there.

He throws himself over her bed, and he could smell the faint lavender fragrance from her covers. She comes out a moment later, with a towel wrapped around her hair. She questions him about the reason he doesn't go over to Ran's place. Even goes to the point of calling her his girlfriend. Which she isn't, yet. He doesn't knows why he still didn't ask her out officially, like, he wants to, she was supposed to be his childhood lover, right? But, every time he puts his mind up to it, he just stops. Something doesn't feel right. its like, Ran is his childhood friend, and he likes her, but he can't ask her to be his girlfriend. He sighs, irritated, this whole thing made zero sense to him.

She got out of the room and he sensed as if her mood was off, and her cold edge proved him right. Maybe something was wrong at her workplace, not that she'd tell him now. So he saves that question for later.

She declines to eat, again. And he uses the technique he knows will always work. He knows she would never decline him something, no matter how tough and hard she makes herself seem, he knows she has a soft spot for him. And he was proud of that, after a lot of efforts, she finally warmed up a bit to him. At the end she agrees, like always.

He asks her about work, and she says everything is fine. But it didn't look like it. She was bothered by something, he could see the distant look in her eyes, as if she was dwelling on something. And his theory proved right as he told her about his case, because she totally spaced out. He called her out on it, and she told him whats wrong.

Hakuba Saguru asked her out.

He doesn't know why, but there was this weird feeling in the pit of his stomach. Maybe because he was eating like a dog, so he shrugs it off. He urges her to accept, like any best friend would do. Hakuba was a nice guy, a detective, just like him. He was half British, just like her. And besides, Miyano needed something normal in her life. She needed to have a normal life like a normal teenager, and he was happy that the first step of the stairs was finally available. Maybe this new experience would make her happy, take her mind over stuff.

So he pushes her to it, ignoring the real weird and disgusting feeling in his stomach. She leaves the food, complaining about a headache, and he gets real worried. This girl never takes care of herself, like never. He was getting worried about these headaches that she had been having since the last few months. She gives him a cold shoulder and goes off to her room. He knows better than to say something else.

He keeps thinking about the date, the whole next day. Maybe it was weird because, Miyano, and with a boyfriend? that sounded weird. The thought of a guy into her life was weird and disturbing. Miyano can't stand guys, she can't stand anyone! Okay, he was a guy, but that was different. He was the only guy in her life, he knew her better than anyone!

Hakuba would never know which smile of hers is fake or which is real. He doesn't know that she loves animals, especially cats. He doesn't know that she's addicted to coffee, that she wakes up in the middle of the night due to nightmares and wouldn't be able sleep again. He would never know when she's lying and when she's not. He doesn't know a thing about her, not her past, not her sister, not her parents. Not about anything. Only He did. Kudo Shinichi was the only guy in her life, and that was whats disturbing him. The concept of some other guy with Miyano Shiho's life, somebody else rather than him being that easy and free with her.

She was his partner, his best friend, his Watson! not some dork of a detectives.

He guesses that's the point, he was just getting over protective of his best friend. That's it. There was nothing more to it, or maybe he didn't want to think more to it.

So to make sure everything's alright, and totally not because of the weird feeling, he goes over to her place to help her get ready. He helps her find a black elegant dress and when she comes out wearing it, his breath gets caught in his throat.

He never, ever, knew she looked that pretty. Like, she was beautiful, he knew that, but this much? No. That was a total different thing. The dress fitted her perfectly, she looked like an angel. He remembers she once said, 'I'm just a demon, who is yearning to be an angel one day'

But she wasn't a demon, she was just a fallen angel, who broke her wings and wasn't able to fly anymore. An angel in the world of the demons. She wasn't a bad person, she was a good person to whom bad things have happened. She reacted according to her situation, that doesn't make her a bad person.

He helps her get ready, and when she's done, he looks at her with pride. She was looking astonishingly alluring. But, there was something incomplete. He rushes to his house and gets the diamond necklace from his mother's cupboard. He calls her to ask if he could give it to Shiho for a date and she practically fawns over him,

"Your'e taking Shiho-chan on a date?! Ohmygodd! finally!" Her voice is so cheery that the high pitch irritates his ears, "I knew it! I knew you both were perfect for each other!" She babbles and he realizes his mistake about forgetting to add the greatest detail,

"Mom!" he tries to cut her off but she kept on rambling, "I knew she loved you and you fancied her too, god! finally I'm going to have a daughter!"

"Mom-""You too are so cute~"

"MOM!" he yells and she stops, "She isn't going on a date with me!"

"But," she was startled, "You just said-"

"I told you I wanted to gift it to her, so she could wear it on the date she had tonight, not with me" He says quietly, "I didn't ask her out"

"But you love her, don't you?"

And the realization dawned on him, the reason he didn't ask Ran yet, the reason he was uneasy with this date wasn't because she was his best friend, for heaven's sake! He was in love with his best friend. The weird feeling he felt was not because he was over protective, it was because he was jealous. Dear lords! He was in love with Miyano Shiho. And the weight of that fell on him like tons of iron.

He ended the call and went over to her place. He can't ruin this now, she was ready for the date, Hakuba was on his way, he couldn't ruin all that.

She wore the necklace hesitantly and he looked at her. She was looking like the perfect explanation of the word perfect. She was looking so gorgeous. Hakuba was a lucky guy, and he said that out.

Right then, for a nano second, he let it slip. He wished she was going like that on a date with him. And his eyes showed that. But he wasn't going to end this for her.

For her sake, he would let her go. He always believed that if you love someone truly, you would want that person to be happy, even if your'e not a part of that happiness.

He knew then, that she loved him. The way she looked at him, maybe in the past somewhere, but right now, she was going on a date, a date with Hakuba Saguru.

He composed himself, and like his usual self, threatened Hakuba jokingly, but Hakuba knew better than taking it like a joke, because Shinichi meant every word.

When Shiho gets into the car, he can't help wishing she would look back. Only for a second, and she would've seen that he didn't want her to go. But she didn't look back, of course she wouldn't. He meant nothing to her now, all that mattered was that she was in the front seat, with Hakuba Saguru. Not him. And only then did he realize,

He was the one who lit up the fire, but what he didn't know, was that if the wind changed direction, he would be burnt as well.

**A/N: Ta da~ well I couldn't possibly make him okay with the date, Im not, so why should he be?**

**The next updates may be slow, I apologize in advance, life is being real shitty to me. And sometimes its real hard, every Shiho needs a Shinichi to help her carry the burden. **

**Prompts are as usual welcomed, you can send me a message or comment below.**

**Thankyou for the support people!**

**~Love,**

**Zayn=)**


	7. His Voice

It was 2 A.M and she was awake, bent on a huge pile of papers with her table lamp on. She had her head in her hands, her eyes running over the words written. Apparently she was reading, but her mind couldn't process what was actually written. She was tired, and needed a break. She thought about closing it all and going to sleep, but she didn't feel like it. She wasn't feeling sleepy, or maybe she did not want to feel sleepy.

Thoughts ran through her mind and she shook her head, focusing on the words again. They say, your greatest fears come to life in the dark. And it was true, she hated the nights, she hated how her mind wouldn't let her have the tiniest bit of peace. When she had nothing to do, her mind would start working. It would start thinking, and that's where everything goes wrong.

She doesn't think, about the past, her parents, her sister. She doesn't think about her days in that God damn organization. She locks it all up in a drawer, at the back of her mind. She busies herself with her current activities, the present. Her research, she never touches that drawer. But when the lights are off, when shes all alone at night, nobody by her side, it opens. It opens and all the memories flood out. And she hates that. So she occupies her mind with work, keeps herself busy with people, and any distractions.

Her cell phone rings and she glares at it, who the hell calls at 2 AM?! She clicks her tongue when she sees the caller ID.

"Hello," She makes sure the irritation is clear in her voice,

"Hey, you up?" He says softly, and all her anger melts away.

"No dickhead, I'm sleep talking." She rolls her eyes.

"Oh wow, your vocabulary is the same, even when you're asleep." She could hear the grin through his voice. Dumbass. She revolves her chair so she no longer sees the papers, after all, she got a better distraction.

"Anyways, what are you doing?" He feels bored himself,

"Nothing, just studying some research files," It was partially true, "What about you?"

"Just bored," _Bingo._

"Am I your personal entertainer, Kudo-kun?" She rolls her eyes,

"You can try to humor me tho," She smiles at his cheeky reply as she gets up and goes over to her balcony, which is right in front of his. As expected, she sees him leaning over the railing. He waves at her and she waves back.

"Don't you have some case to work on?" He looks back into his room before answering,

"Nah, tell me about your research. What are you working on?" She looks at the pile of papers,

"Nothing much, just cancer." Even through the dark, she could see his eyebrow shooting up.

"Why the sudden interest in Cancer?" The question doesn't surprise her. Its pretty normal to ask a biochemist about her interest in something like that. But what should she tell him? That after all the lives she's taken, she wants to repay them. She wants to do anything that could make up her sins. And maybe its the only way, she knows that nothing she does would ever compensate that but, at least she could change her path. You can't change your past, you cannot undo the mistakes you've made, you can never undo your sins. But there's a way out; You can change your future. You can't change what you've done, but you can always change what you would do. Our mistakes don't define us, but the choices we make, after that sin, the path we chose to act on, that's what defines us.

"Miyano?" His voice brings her back from her thoughts,

"Its an interesting field, besides, I've got nothing to do." It wasn't a lie, but she knew, not many people could see through her words. "Shouldn't you be asleep?" She changes the topic before he starts asking more.

"Shouldn't _you_ be asleep?" He turns the question at her.

"So you're awake because I'm awake?" She asks, bemused. He laughs, "Don't flatter yourself Miyano."

They settle into a comfortable silence. Despite everything they've been through together, despite their closeness, they were still on second name bases. From strangers to best friends, from second name bases to second name bases, somethings aren't meant to change. You like them for what they are. So she never bothers calling him by his first name, Kudo-kun seemed home. Much more comfortable, besides they were both used to it by now. And they knew, no matter what, it would stay the same. She liked calling him that. It was much more easier.

"I miss you, you know." He breaks through the silence.

"You see me everyday idiot," she shakes her head, "You practically live at my place, and we work at the same place too."

"I know, but," he sounds exasperated, "Its not like you're at work all the time."

"As if you're there all the time," She fires back, "You only come to the MPD when there's a case, and since Im in the forensic department, I also only go when there's a case, its fair, don't you think?"

"Yeah," He chuckles, "But we're both too busy in our lives to actually be the same yunno. We don't really talk about anything else but work. I miss old times."

"You miss being 7 years old," She raises her eyebrow even though she knew what he meant.

"You're such a pain," He laughs and she joins.

"How are you, Kudo-kun?" she asks after a while, "Really?"

There's a pause on the other side, "I'm fine. I guess." he scratches his head, "I've got an interview next week though, you remember the company I told you about?"

"Your dream job? That case solving thing," Of course she remembers,

"Yeah, What if I don't get in?" he looks up at the stars,

"Hey, don't say that," she says softly, "We both know you'll nail it. Its your field since forever."

"I know, but, there are people who are way better than me, I just can't help feel a little at competition." He sighs,

"Kudo-kun, we both know you're one of the best detectives. You've solved cases, not even the metropolian police could solve. You're the Sherlock Holmes of the modern century, aren't you? The savior of the Japanese police?" For once, she doesn't have sarcasm in her words, no puns.

"I know," he sounds tired, "But what if I'm not good enough?"

"Who are you and what have you done to Kudo Shinichi?" She laughs, "Where's the guy who thinks himself the best, the one who has a head larger than an elephant? The one who needs me to poke a needle in that balloon of his ego?"

"Maybe this time, I need you to blow it up a little," he smiles.

"Oh c'mon," she tries convincing him, "Since when have we exchanged roles? Aren't you the one always positive. Between the two of us, you're the optimistic one. The one who always believes that things would turn out right? Aren't you? I mean, you're the one who shows me the bright side even in the darkest of situations. This role doesn't suit you Kudo-kun, cheer up."

He laughs, "So you do agree that you're a miserable old woman?"

"And you're the one who believes in happy endings, so what happened?" she asks softly, It wasn't like him to be all pessimistic. He out of all people, knew how to bring the good out, even in the worst situations. He had this strong believe about happiness, that somehow, things would always work out for the best. He had this weird sense of justice, the one she always admired. She admires how he would never lose hope, she loved this about him. So it always worried her when he would turn all gloomy.

"I still do," he chuckles, "Things always have a way of working out on their own, don't they?"

"And you do know, that if there was any person in the world who deserved that job, its you." She says with every bit of honesty in her, "I believe in you."

"And that's all I need," He smiles warmly. "Now, try going to sleep. I believe you no longer have all those things running in your head now?"

And she gets what he meant, she knows why he was awake at this hour. She knows why he called her and talked about nonsense. He needed her, but just a little. His main job was to clear her thoughts. He always knew when she needed him, she doesn't know how, but he could always sense it.

She smiles, "Do you mind talking while I try to sleep?" Its always great to hear someones voice, to know you're not alone. To block everything else.

"Of course Miyano." he says earnestly. And she comes into her room, she closes the light and gets into covers, still holding the phone to her ear. He talks about random stuff, his work and how he keeps up the fun in that god damn serious atmosphere at works. She smiles. His voice calms her down, blows all her demons away. It provided her strength, and hope. She forgets all her troubles and focuses on his voice, and only his voice, as sleep slowly envelops her whole being. Just as she was about to drowse off, she heard his soft,

"Sleep well."

For once in her life, she doesn't have any nightmares.

**A/N: Done with yet another chapter. Forgive me if there are any mistakes, for I'm quite drowsy to actually focus on what I wrote.**

**Hope ya'll like it=)**


	8. Her Voice

It was 2 A.M when he closed his files and thought about sleeping. He was tired, the day was real hectic. Besides, he was preparing for his interview next week. Not to mention, obviously stressing over it.

This, was his dream job, the one he dreamt of since he was a kid. And after all that Black organization mess, he really wished to get back on track and continue life where he left it.

After closing his work, out of habit he went on his balcony and as expected, her lights were on. What was she working on anyways? There was no such case at the department that required forensic assistance. Unless, she was working on something personal.

He kept thinking about it but came to the conclusion that she was awake because she couldn't sleep. Wow. He's a genius for figuring that out! It was pretty obvious that when one is awake, it simply means they couldn't sleep. It doesn't take a detective to find that out.

But that's not the reason she was awake, he knew about her night terrors. He knew how she couldn't sleep at night. Her mind wouldn't simply let her, and he gets real frustrated at that. Everyday, every night, all she thinks about is that God damn organisation. She can't cut herself some slack. To be honest, he gets real angry at the way she lets her past control her. You should learn to leave everything behind and start a new chapter. Other wise, you'll never really get over it.

He hates the way she judges herself just because of some silly mistakes of the past. And he tries his best to prove to her, that the past doesn't matter, what matters is the way we chose to deal with it.

Okay, she might've done terrible mistakes, but she does repent them, and that's what matters. She isn't proud of what she did, she regrets it, and that's what draws the line. That's what separate her from the ones like Gin. They do whatever they want, proudly and without no regrets. If they were given a thousand chances, they would do the same thing without hesitating. But he knows for sure, if there was any way she could take back all she did, she would go over the edge, just to do it.

And that's why, even after everything she did, he still sees the good in her. And only good. He can see what she has, and he trusts her not to repeat those mistakes. He trusts her to see the good in herself and realize what she's capable of doing. He trusts her blindly.

After a moment of thought, he calls her. Maybe he could take her mind off those thoughts. Maybe he could offer her a moment of peace and content.

She picks up, the irritation crystal clear through her voice.

"Hey, you up?" he says in the most soothing voice he could muster, maybe that'll save him from her scolds. Her reply made him grin, at least she wasn't angry now.

He asks her about what she was doing, maybe just maybe, she would answer truthfully. But she doesn't, it makes him a little sad. He always thought they had reached the state where there were no more lies between them. Where she could openly state her thoughts, without worrying. Honestly, he wished she would do that.

She jokes about being his personal entertainment, and it comes off naturally. He could always tell when something was made up, or it was natural. At least she was honest in some way right now.

He sees her at her balcony and waves, she waves back.

She turns the question back at him, that's how she dodges them. Changes their direction, He looks back at the pile of cases on his desk. And since she didn't quite give him an honest answer, why should he?

He asks her about her research, since he wanted her to speak her mind. He could do this little favor for her. Maybe if she says whatever it is that's bothering her, maybe then could she have a peaceful sleep. Sometimes, he just wants her to talk. Even if it had nothing to do with whats in her mind. He actually wants to take her mind off whatever it is that's running through that thick head of hers.

This time, her reply makes him raise his eyebrow. Now that was unexpected. What made her turn to cancer? It really surprises him. But she doesn't let him in. _Again_. She changes the topic which irritates the hell out of him. This habit of hers really annoys him, and he can't hide it from his voice as he fires the same question at her. Fine, if this was the way, then let it be! He could play this just as well as she can.

But she sure knows how to catch someone off guard, since her next question makes him laugh. It was true, but he would die rather than tell her that he really was awake just because of her. That he was long past doing his work, and despite being really tired, the only reason he was standing here at his balcony in such a freezing weather was her. But of course, she would never know it, now would she? Just like many more incidents, this was a secret he would take with him to the grave.

He did leave a lot for her, even his ego. Let alone his sleep.

There was a way too familiar comfortable silence between them. In which all they did was listen to each other's breathing.

"I miss you, you know." He says after a while. He really does. He misses her by his side. He misses not seeing her everyday. He even misses her sarcastic comments.

And as usual, she had her habit of turning even the most earnest situations into some sick joke. But she gets, from those two or three sentences, how he really was right now. It amazed him, yet made him happy to see that he wasn't the only one who could sense the other's mood by just a few words.

Unlike her, he lets her in. Of course, just a little. Sometimes it was okay not be okay. If she didn't want to talk about her problem. Maybe he could share some of his'. And like always, she pushes him again. That's what he loved about her, no matter what state of mind she is in, she would always be there for him. She would pump him up and knock some sense into that big head of his. She had the power to lift his mood up. And it wasn't even that down. All that he needed was a push. And she always provided that, for which he was utterly grateful. He was a man, who could see the beauty in life. Maybe because, all that he was shown was beauty. And one bad chapter won't change this fact. She made sure to remind him of that. Of what he is, and what he can be. She never doubts his abilities, and trusts him more than he trusts himself.

And that's what made her quite special for him. She really meant a lot to him. And he was ready to leave his norms just for her. He could do anything. That's why when she asks him to talk while she sleeps, and agrees without giving it much thought.

He knows why she asked him to do it. So he talks, about random stuff. Just about everything that had nothing to do about any sort of worries. Just to lighten her up, and make it easy for her to sleep. Just to blow her demons away. With his voice.

Maybe, in some twisted way, his voice did keep the demons away. It was a reminder, for her and them. That he was here for her. And he would be, always. He would fight her battles for her. And be her shield, if it required him to be.

As he hears her breathing slowing down, he whispers, with all the warmth he had, in a hope that it would really make her sleep peacefully and keep her away from the devils and the evils of the world;

"Sleep well."

As he laid down on his bed, with his phone. He let her soft breaths lull him to sleep. Just the slightest prove, that she was safe and alive, and was sleeping calmly, could take his worries away.

**A/N: Done, finally. Sorry for the long wait. **

**As usual, all your prompts are warmly welcomed. And as soon as I can, I would try to please you with all that I have.**

**R&R, for they make me happy=)**


	9. Her Grief

It was one hell of a chilly morning. January was at its peak. But even colder was the house of none other than Kudo Shinichi.

If you peer through the living room window, you'd see the said detective in bit of hurry. Rummaging through his stuff, as if looking for something. Nothing was different. Not his face, nor his sense of fashion. The place was untidy as ever. The house looked beautiful, and so did his charming face. What was actually out of place, were those stone cold dead eyes. They had no emotion in them.

"Damn it!" he cursed as he checked the time. He was already late.

"Its in your room." Miyano Shiho said, with a calm face regardless of the heavy atmosphere that has been in this house for some time now. Unlike his eyes, hers had the normal bored yet alarmed edge to it. She was leaning against the door frame.

But it was as if he didn't even hear her. She tried again, "You left the case file beneath your pile of rubbish Kudo-kun, again." But he ignored her yet one more time. She rolled her eyes, he's been doing that for a while now. Acting as if she isn't even there. What a jerk!

Whatever. As if she cared. He could ignore her all he wanted.

She went to the kitchen, knowing that he'll take some time finding those files. He won't go to his room. No. That would puncture his ego. Listening to what she says. Well, as he wished. He'd be late to work again. But she has no issues with that. That way she'll have more time with him.

She makes him coffee. He'd stopped doing that now. Making coffee for her. So instead she makes it for him. She's become so forgiving now. Its like they've switched roles. She makes the coffee and put it on the table where he'd see it.

He wasn't in the living room, so she goes upstairs. Only to find him getting out of his room with the case files. She smirks, "Told you so." He stops, right beside her. And for a while she thinks he would reply with some snarky comeback. He always has one. Never the one to back down. She waits for him to laugh and give her a kiss on the cheek. But instead, he walks away with an even harder expression.

Her shoulders slump. She misses his laugh. And his idiotic grin. She misses them a lot. But he stopped doing it. The person who told her to enjoy life was the one so sick of it now. She'd do anything, anything, to hear him laugh one more time. To even just see him smile slightly. He wasn't like that. And its all her fault. Its her fault that he's no longer the person he used to be. She was the one to blame, like every single time. She ruined his life again. She did it over and over again.

She follows him silently downstairs, desperately hoping that this morning would be different. But it wasn't. As always, he stiffened, seeing the coffee on his table. Although she did it every day, yet his expression was the same every time he saw it. And just like every morning, he ignored the cup and went out to get his shoes.

"Are you still mad at me?" She asks, afraid, like a child asking her mother. He doesn't answer as he bends down to wear his shoes.

"Oh come on Kudo-kun!" Her expression changes into anger, "I told you I'm sorry! I apologized! Over and over again." He wears his other shoes without even looking at her.

"I know its my fault. I know I shouldn't have gone there. But you can't punish me forever Kudo-kun!" Her anger melts away as desperation creeps in. "Please, just please talk to me. Yell at me all you want. But at least talk." She has tears in her eyes, after so long. "Don't do this to me Kudo-kun. I can bear everything. But I can't afford losing you. Please just look at me for once. Just look me in the eye one more time."

He ties his laces, with the same dead eyes.

"Wasn't I your best friend?" She whispers, tears flowing through her eyes. She didn't bother stopping them. "Wasn't I your partner? Your Watson? You promised Kudo-kun! You promised you'd never leave me. You loved me!" She was sobbing now. For the first time in a long time, she was crying. Sobbing with hiccups, "You told me that not even death would separate us! You said you'd never hate me. No matter what I do. Then why, Kudo-kun, why? Why don't you look at me, Am I not your Irene? Why don't you talk to me? Why don't you love me anymore?"

He got up, took us his briefcase and walked right pass her. Never once looking at her. But he did stop in the door way,

"Irene never stayed with Holmes. She left him. For their paths, were never meant together" He said with a broken face yet stoned eyes. Before leaving her there, frozen at the very same place.

It wasn't his face. No. This face can't belong to her Kudo. Her Kudo was so cheerful. Her Kudo never let a single tear in her eye, let alone cry. He used to laugh, even at her anger. He laughed and made her laugh with him. He was the reason their house was always so merry. Why their lives, her life, was so gleeful.

And she took it away. She ruined his life once, took it away from him. But she tried fixing it, she made the antidote, gave him his life back. But for what? Only to take it away one more time. She fulfilled the empty spaces for him, but just to take everything this time. To leave him empty.

She should've left. The moment that organisation was destroyed, the moment she gave him back what she stole. She should've left him. She didn't belong here. She was never meant to be in his life in the first place. That's her second biggest regret. The first was creating that damn drug.

But he didn't let her go. He made her stay. Promised her that he won't leave her alone now. That he would give her a chance for a happy life. A real life. With him. He showed her green gardens of joy and ecstasy. And she, blinded by her desires, agreed. She had her everything right here. He used her deepest desire for a normal life, against her. And she agreed. Being a complete fool. A selfish fool. Who thought of her, and only her.

If she left that day, he wouldn't be like this. Yes, he would be broken, but he'd move on. Besides, its not as if she would've never contacted him again.

She blames herself, for the lifeless person he's turned into. She was a curse, and whoever got attached to her, would always get hurt. No matter what.

He was the person, from whom nobody could steal hope. Not even a single soul on earth could wipe his smile. Yet she did.

They said nobody could create a drug that shrunk human beings. Yet she did.

Indeed, she was capable of everything. And she hated herself for that. She isn't proud of doing the impossible. Instead she regrets them, and would do anything, literally anything to undo them.

She spent the day doing nothing, like each day of the past whole week. Since that.

But she gets ready before he came home. Gets her shit together. Maybe she could fix it this time.

She smiles as she hears the door opening, and comes down to greet him.

"Hey." He ignores her as he removes his coat and hangs it with the stand. "You look as dead as ever Kudo-kun." She says sarcastically. He drops himself on the couch. Sighing from tiredom.

"Rough day?" she asks a little gently. He still doesn't respond. "Remember how you used to tell me that I look like an old lifeless lady?" She smiles sadly, "I gotta say, you've even broken my record. You used to call me an old soul. Told me to smile. What happened to you now?"

He puts his head in his hands and he takes in a shaky breath.

"Come on," she rolls her eyes, "Where is my cocky corpse magnet?"

He gets up and goes to the door. She knows exactly where he was going now. So she follows, like every night. They walk silently on the empty deserted roads. It was real cold and his nose had turned red. Her on the other hand, was pale. Cold and pale. He rubs his hand together and blows them, and she smiles, remembering how he always use to rub her hands and blow them. Her hands were always cold, and his' were warm as sun. He used to rub her hands, hoping to transfer all his warmth to her. And it did. Her hearth would warm up. And the ice always melted. He seems to remember it too, because he stops. And looks to his side, not in her eyes, he never does that anymore, but right through her. She smiles at him but he starts walking again. His eyes even more dead. They enter the symmetry together and go over to that one grave. They come here every night.

He crouches down with the grave and she stands behind him. He takes out a single red rose, and puts it on the grave. Before lowering his head. He's shivering. And she knows very well its not because of the cold.

"Its all my fault." He whispers, talking to the grave.

"Its not Kudo. It isn't your fault at all." She says gently.

"I should've been there. I should've stopped that bullet." He was crying silently now. And it killed her to know she could do nothing about it.

"Stop crying, you look like a dork." she tries to lighten him up. But he keeps crying.

"I promised. I promised to protect you. And I failed." He keeps talking to the grave, and only the grave.

"Gosh. It wasn't your fault. You could've done nothing about it. Its all my fault. I should've never gone there. If I stayed at home, this wouldn't have happened. They wouldn't have fired that bullet." She keeps trying, to soothe him up.

"I've told you a hundred times that you don't look charming at all while crying." She refers to the time he cried, for the first time in front of her.

"You were my responsibility." He sniffs. "My duty."

"You were responsible for no one Kudo-kun. You did what you could. It wasn't in your hand." She sits right beside him. The worst feeling, is to see a loved one cry, and be able to do nothing about it. To feel so helpless. She wants to wipe his tears, hug him tight, and blow all his demons away. Just like he did for her. But she knows she can't. She was no longer in the position to do so now.

It made her think back, to all the times when she was away from him. All the times, she was mad at him. She wishes so bad to take them all back. She misses his touch so much. She regrets not being with him enough.

And I guess that's life, we never appreciate what we have, until it became what we had.

But then, we can do nothing about it.

"I love you so much." He says looks up at the grave, she looks up too. "I love you so much, Shiho."

Written on the fresh white marble, with a black paint, was;

_Here Lies Miyano Shiho._

_A daughter, a best friend and a loving wife._

And she'd give anything, for him to hear her back as she says,

"I love you too, shinichi."

**A/N: Ouch. Expected or unexpected? Dont kill me though. Ik its not what you people wanted but, here you go.**

**I hope you'll like it, and try not to chop my head off.**


	10. His Grief

**Im so sorry for the delay, but here you go. Theres a question in the end tho, tell me what should I do?**

It was colder than yesterday today. Every day seemed to get colder and colder since she left. But the problem was, nothing stopped. Not the time, nor the world. Everything seemed to go just the way it was. But not him. He wasn't the same. He never would be. But still, life goes on, even if your own heart leaves you.

He couldn't find his case files again. He was always the clumsy one, while she kept track of everything for him. She was the one who knew where his stuff was, he always forgot. But now she wasn't here, he shook his head bitterly, now he had to find it himself.

He checked the living room, but cursed when he found none. His voice echoed in the big mansion. He still didn't get used to her absence. Somewhere in his mind, he still thought shed come out from somewhere, telling him where his case file was. But he knows she won't be back. She'll never be back.

He misses her. But its an understatement, he misses her a lot. And he could give anything, anything just to have her back. Just once more. He would leave everything, his job, his love for mysteries, he would leave everything and spend his whole life with her, and only her.

Memories flood through his brain. And it seems like it was yesterday. He could hear her laugh, see her smile. He could feel her presence. Even now.

_"If you ever have to chose between life and death, what would you chose?" It was a chilly night, and they both were sitting on the rooftop of his house, gazing at the stars, when she randomly asked that question._

_"I would chose to live." He answers without hesitating, as he pulls her closer due to the cold. He had his arms around her, wrapped in blanket._

_"Even if you have nothing to live for?" she was looking at the sky, her voice soft and gentle._

_"I think that you'll always have something to live for. No matter what. There's something that makes you get out of bed each day. Sometimes its your happiness, and sometimes, its the hope for happiness." She nods her head,_

_"And if you have to chose between your life, and somebody else's?" He doesn't know why she's asking that. But it was her, she would ask something out of the blue. Always. She never told the reason for asking the question, and he never asked._

_"I think I'll chose to die in their place. To lose someone is hard, but to know there was something you could've done to stop it, yet didn't, is even harder. I'd give my life if it meant for them to have one."_

_She was silent after this for a while. The chilly wind was playing with their hair._

_"Kudo-kun?" She asks again, and he turns to look at her. She does too, looks him straight in the eye before asking, "If I die, you promise you wouldn't stop living, wont you?"_

_It took him a moment to let the question digest, and when it did, his heart trembled. He didn't answer this time, but pulled her even more closer._

_"Promise me, Kudo-kun." She said sternly, "We never know what tomorrow holds, anything can happen. We don't know if we'll live to the end of it, let me finish kudo-kun." She stopped him as he opened his mouth, "All I'm saying, is that you never know. And all I want is a reassurance, that if something ever happens to me, you won't kill yourself. You'd continue you life, you'd do what you dreamt of, what we dreamt of. Even if I'm not here, you won't isolate yourself from the world. You'd move on. Promise me that. Please." She said a bit gently now._

_He found himself nodding, for he could never deny her request. Yet, he kissed her head,_

_"Nothing would ever happen to you Miyano, I won't let anything happen to you ever again. I promise."_

He never knew that single promise would weight this much. Both the promises. He promised to protect her. But he failed her, just like her sister. He was the one to blame, for both of their deaths. He could never keep his promise. Not to any of them.

But at least he could try to keep his first promise. He could try. When he nodded, he knew it was impossible. Her dying, his living without her. Both the ideas seemed impossible. He was so sure of that. What he didn't realize was that, even the impossible becomes possible at times. At times, we're so sure something won't happen. As if we have it guaranteed. And even the thought of it happening seemed like a really impossible thing.

We have people around us, people we love so much. And we never can think about losing them, somewhere in our subconscious, we're so sure that they won't leave us. We're so sure, that we will be with them forever. But that's not life, is it? Life is the worst game. It makes the impossible, possible. And slaps it on your face. It shows you that no matter what you think, no matter what you want. Nothing, nothing can ever stand in fate's way. You'd spend your whole life with some people, and you know you'd always be with them. But then one day, they're just not here anymore.

He checks his room and finds his case file beneath the pile of rubbish. He shakes his head as he gets out of the room, but right in the middle of his way, he smells it. He could smell her scent. The scent he could recognize anywhere...

_He was on the balcony of his high school. The organization was destroyed in the previous week, and he and Haibara both had taken the antidotes and were back to their original bodies. It was easy for him to get back into his life once again, same high school, same friends. And he was persuading Miyano to enroll into his school too. Although she already had completed her studies, and was even smarter than the teachers here but still, he wished she would live her life again, like a normal teenager. He wanted her to enjoy the perks of high school. But of course, she was a tough nut to crack. And wasn't even giving it a thought. _

_But he still hoped she would change her mind. As he was leaning on the railings, he caught a scent. The faint scent of lavender and strawberry. He didn't turn as a smirk came up to his face. He knew she was here, and was going to come up to him any moment. He could sense her perfume from within a crowd and would know its her. It was only her._

_The scent got stronger and stronger, and so did his smirk. When he felt the scent and that very particular presence, the aura that only she radiated, his eyebrow rose as he tilted his head to the side. Still with his back to her, and without seeing her face, he said with the most egoistic smirk,_

_"Took you long enough." And she laughed, the laugh he loved so much. The light hearted true laugh that was reserved for him, and only him. She leaned with her back towards the railing, looking at him straight in the eye with a slight smirk._

_"Seriously, how did you know it was me?"_

_"I can recognize this perfume from miles, Miyano." he grinned. _

_"Indeed." She nods her head bemused, "After all, sniffing is what dogs are famous for." She said with an equally challenging smirk. And they both laughed, side by side._

The memory faded, as he came back to reality, alone this time. No one by his side. His heart clenched, as his face hardened. He fastened his pace, for he needed to get out of this house. But he knew, no matter where he went, her absence would haunt him forever. If only he didn't make that damned promise.

He gets down the stairs but stops right in his tracks when he sees his mug on the coffee table, right beside her mug. Like every morning. He doesn't get how the hell does this cup gets here, for he remembers very well that he put both the cups away. He didn't touch coffee since the day she left. He only made coffee for her, and seeing those two empty cups on the table killed him. The cup was lonely, just like him. Missing its owner. Missing the warmth of coffee inside it, and the warmth of those fingers around it. The fingers that would never get to touch it again. He felt sorry for the cup, for it was never to be filled again, Just like his heart.

No matter how hard he tries, he couldn't take the memory out of his brain. Never.

_The sky was black. So were the people around him. The graveyard was filled with people wearing black. Standing around a recently dug grave, at the side of which a casket lay. Its lead was open, and if you look inside, you'd see a beautiful yet pale face. A face that had the innocence of the world, yet had a layer of hardness. A face that always had a cold edge to it. That showed no emotions. And would always be blank. With either a frown on its face, or a yawn. And of course, that smirk. But today, that face had nothing on it. Today, it was completely natural. As peaceful as somebody asleep. _

_He loved seeing her asleep. Her face, no more guarded, but content, like an angels. He loved it. But today, today he would give anything. Anything, for her to change it. He would give anything for her to frown, just remove that stillness from her face. _

_Her eyes were closed. Normally, those eyes were always bored. Either bored, or glaring. But sometimes they would soften, mostly for animals. Those eyes had a spark to them, a spark the world tried to diminish. A spark, she fought to keep. A spark, which had gone through many changes. From the spark of innocence, as a child, to the spark of curiosity as a student. A spark they wanted to use against the humanity, which led to it being turned into fire. A blazing fire that would burn anything in its way. The fire of revenge. And in the end, back to the spark of life. It changed, but never turned off._

_But today, the spark was finally blown out. Today, those eyes, which were once full of life, full of sarcasm. Today they were closed for eternity. Never to open again._

_The thunder roared above as the wind hardened._

_Beside him, there were many people standing. He thinks he could hear their friends crying. He could see the lifeless face of the professor, who had lost someone who was like his daughter. He could see Akai, the police force, the FBI. Everybody was there._

_The darkened sky lighted again, as rain started to pour down. Even the sky was mourning today. The whole world was enveloped by a grave silence. The rain drops made a steady rhythm. A rhythm of mourning, like a dirge. It was as if all the life was drained out of the world._

_People opened their umbrellas, but he didn't bother. He could feel the water on his face, or maybe it was his tears. He doesn't remember. People consoled him, patted his houlder, but he remembers nothing. All he remembers is that face._

_The face he begged, to open their eyes just one more time. The person who would never get mad at him. Even if they were angry, they would never be this stone cold. She could never be that to him. Why was she so still today? She always heard him. No matter how quietly he called, no matter how late he texted. She would always answer him. Leave everything behind, just for him. Why wasn't she answering him today? When he needed her the most._

_She said she couldn't bear to see him sad, so why was she letting him cry today. She fulfilled his every request, so why wasn't she listening today? He was crying, he was in pain. Why wasn't she holding him tight? _

_He would give anything, he would let her laugh at his stupidity, call him a man child, a whiny girl for crying. He would let her do it. He would buy all the purses in the world for her. Just for once, even for a split second, let her open her eyes. Let her get out of that god damn suffocating wooden box, shake her head with a smirk and say,_

_"Just kidding." He wouldn't get mad at her this time. He would do everything she asks. Just, for once give him his girl back. Just one more time. They would leave the country, go far away from the troubles here, he would spend his every second with her._

_If only he could get her back one more time._

_Even if she was in a deep sleep, he only needed to whisper her name for her to open her eyes, but today she didn't. Today he cried his heart out, pleaded her to open her eyes, but she didn't. She kept sleeping, ignoring the whole world._

_As the casket lowered into the ground, he still had hope. That any moment she would kick that box open and glare at them for putting her in a tight box. She hated confined spaces. She was afraid of the dark._

_He wanted to tell them that. That she can't stay alone. She gets scared. Shes scared of darkness, and silence. And loneliness. They can't lower her into that small hole. She'd be terrified. She had nightmares. Who would be there for her when she wakes up screaming at night? She needs someone by her side. No. She needed him by her side. She told him that. That she can never survive without him by her side. _

_He wanted to move forward and stop that box from being lowered. He wanted to get her out and back into his arms. She doesn't like any of this. He knows that. _

_But his feet were rooted into the ground, body paralyzed and his brain numb. Completely numb, as they put soil over that box._

_She hated dirt. She keeps everything clean. She won't appreciate dirt on her. She always scolded him for being messy. Yes, she'll be here any moment. She knows when he does something she doesn't like. She always knows what he did. And would never waste a moment to scold him. To make fun of him._

_Yes, he told himself. This is just a nightmare. And it will be over. He'll wake up in his bed, right next to her. This is not real. He kept telling himself that. _

_This is not real. She'll be back._

_People started going back to their places, some being dragged out. And some having nothing else to do._

_This is not real. She'll be back._

_Many people were hugging him, telling him to be strong. That it was God's will._

_This is not real. She'll be back._

_The FBI was apologizing, if they arrived a little sooner, if they'd listen to what she said rather than what that traitor told them. She wouldn't have to die for them._

_This is not real. She'll be back._

_The professor and the detective boys leave the last, with Ayumi crying hysterically. And the professor totally broken, look what you did, Miyano._

_This is not real. She'll be back._

_But as he sits, on his knees, drenched from head to toe, in front of a fresh grave stone, surrounded by flowers,_

_ Here lies Miyano Shiho._

_A daughter (The professor wrote that), A best Friend (the detective boys) and a loving wife._

_"To Sherlock Holmes, she was always the woman"_

_He realizes this is real, a surreal truth, and she's never coming back._

He blinks as he comes back into present, tying his lace. He gets out of the house, with tears in his eyes. But he remembered,

"Irene never stayed with Holmes. She left him. For their paths were never meant to be together."

He regrets the day he made her his Irene. How could he forget? That Irene never stayed, she always left. It was Watson that was with Holmes till the end.

And if staying with him, meant for her to be Watson, which she already had been since forever. But only Watson, and not Irene, he was ready for that. He was okay with them being only best friends. If it meant for her to stay.

He was the one who persuaded her to stay. If only he had let her go, this wouldn't have happened. She wouldn't be with him. They might not be in contact. But if that meant for her to be alive and well, he was ready to accept it.

But he knew, nothing he does now, will ever bring her back. Nothing. She's gone now, and he has to live through it.

His whole day was dull, just like it had been since the past week. The world was muted for him. He could hear people say many things. Many cases. But his heart was tired of all this. Even the cases annoyed him now.

Just like every day, he came home early. And just like everyday, his house was empty, filled with misery and emptiness. A emptiness, nobody could ever fill.

He drops himself on the couch, as he loosens his tie. One more day gone, and he doesn't know how much are to come. He takes in a shaky breath as he puts his head in his hands. His heart clenches, as his vision blurs. He needs to see her.

He gets up, wears his coat and goes out. The evening was even colder. He walked silently through the extreme cold. His senses already numb. He rubs his hands together and blows them. But like everything, every fucking thing in his life, it brings up another fucking memory. Of her. Its always her. He can't get her out of his mind. And he knows, he never will.

He used to that for her, rub her hands and blow them. For her hands were always, always, abnormally icy. No matter the season, her hands would be as cold as ice.

_"Why are your hands always cold?" he asked her one day. "Its even sunny today."_

_"The season doesn't matter when its your heart that's frozen, Kudo-kun." She replied blankly. They were walking back from college. He stops, grabs her hands in his, which were warm as daylight, and blows them._

_"What are you doing?" She raises her eyebrow, baffled by the sudden gesture._

_"Love can thaw a frozen heart." He says coyly, with the most innocent eyes and a foolish grin. She throws her head back and laughs. _

_"Idiot."_

The memory goes away with the wind. And his feet lead him to a snow covered graveyard. He finds himself on his knees again, in the same very spot as always. Tears, that he holds all day, finally fall. They fall like a never ending waterfall. Taking bits of his heart with him.

"I love you so much." He wished she would hear it, "I love you so much, Shiho."

The wind blows gently, and somewhere, he thinks he hears a soft,

_I love you too, Shinichi._

**A/N: Ahhhhhh. Finally done. Gosh Im so relieved this ones done. Ive been sick, and dealing with studies, but Im great now. And as a reward for waiting this patiently, Ive made this 3k+ words chapter. I really hope you love reading it as much as I loved writing it.**

**What do you think if I end this book here? As in no more one shots. Just let this be the ending, and stop it right here?**

**Tell me what should I do?**


	11. Their moment

**A/N: Despite the mood, heres a short fluff. I might not write Kudo's point of view tho. I think its better this way, cute and complete. The thing that gave me the idea for this one, its explained below, for those who're interested. For others, enjoy the story;**

She pulled the shawl closer around her shoulders, as she sat on the deserted bench. It was getting dark, and the parents were trying to persuade their kids on going home. The sky was gray, as if about to open up the showers on the people of earth. She smiled faintly, as she saw a five years old arguing with her mother that she had to catch the fairies that come out in the dark.

"The fairies will be here in the morning," the mother was hopelessly trying to convince her daughter who was firm on her standpoint.

"But mom! Don't you know the fairies are afraid of being caught?" the little girl explained to her mother as if it was clear as daylight.

"But they are also scared of the darkness. You're scared of it too, right?" She caressed the little girls cheeks, which turned bright red as she looked around, afraid of being heard other children.

"I am not!" She said crossly.

"Then why don't you walk home with me in this darkness to prove it?" The mother smiled, knowing she's hit the bulls eye. The girl, forgetting about the fairies held her mothers hand as they got out of the park, for the sake of proving her mother wrong.

Miyano Shiho was smiling the whole time, as she saw the cute mother daughter.

"Aren't you scared of the dark too?" A cocky voice whispered in her ear from behind. She was used to it now, so didn't get startled.

"Aren't you turning into a stalker by each passing day?" She didn't bother looking at him as he sat right beside her. Putting his right leg on his left, he stretched his arms before putting them on the benches back rest. Heaving a sigh, he shook his head.

"Always answering with another question," He muttered to himself, "I should've known better".

She chuckled, "Always ignoring his insults. I forgot the size of your ego."

"Definitely smaller than the size of your tongue." He retorted coyly. A comfortable silence enveloped them as they looked at the sky.

"The moon is beautiful, no?" She says softly. It was starting to drizzle.

He hums. Not noticing the real meaning behind that particular sentence. An ironic smile creeps up to her face,

"Its weird, don't you think?" She looks at the moon, her expressions sad. "The moon's alone in the sky. In that darkness, with nobody by its side. Yet, it shines the way for others. It never once cared about its loneliness, instead it lit up the path for others. All alone, but so strong." She paused, and he looked at her. "Isn't it so selfless?"

"Somebody's being a philosopher." He remarked, and she slapped his head playfully.

"Dickhead." She shook her head.

"Moron!" He stuck out his tongue and she raised her eyebrow,

"Seriously? Are you five?"

"Age doesn't matter. Its the heart that needs to be a kid. Other wise, some people can be old grannies despite being just a teen." He grinned.

"Somebody's being sarcastic." She tilted her head at him, "Lets go home, the rain is getting harder."

"Come on, Miyano!" he looked at her disappointed, "Have a life, enjoy a little?"

"If enjoying life means getting a cold, then no thank you." She said bored. But he got up and offered her his hand.

"It talks, but can it dance?" He said with most charming smirk he could offer, she looked at his hand and then his face.

"No." The rain already got hard enough to get them soaked. He waited for a second before pulling her up forcefully.

"Heyyy!" she yelped, as he pulled her along to the middle of the playground. He was laughing as she wrapped her shawl around her slim frame, hugging herself from the cold. Her bangs were covering her eyes, fully soaked with water.

He looked at her playfully before pulling her shawl quickly before backing away.

"Not cool, Kudo-kun! Not cool." She glared at him. "Give it back!"

"You want this?" He waved the shawl in front of her, a few meters ahead. "Here, take it." He said innocently. She looked at him for a minute, standing completely still, before lunging forward at him but he was more quick as he moved backwards and she fell into a puddle of water.

"Aghh" she shivered controlling her anger, "You're so dead." She said as sprinted after him. He laughed loudly as she chased him around the park. He hid behind the seesaw as she tried cornering him up. She moves right, he'd move left.

"Catch me if you can~" he said mockingly as she tried catching him but he took another run. They continued this game of cat and mouse, ignoring the world and whats in it. He was having the joy of the world, and even she forgot the reason she was chasing him, but did out of pure fun. He kept laughing like he owned the world, and she was chuckling, trying so hard to act cross. Laughing and giggling, they were no more than children, who craved for the joy the cruel world had snatched from them.

Midway through their chase, he halted to a stop. And she fell right onto him. She shrieked and he let out a loud laugh as they both fell down, drenched from head to toe. They were laughing endlessly, as she lay beside him on the cold wet grass. But nothing mattered, as they laughed away their worries.

He was clenching his stomach, and she was wiping the tears that had formed in the corner of her eyes.

"You're such a pain in the ass kudo-kun," she said between her laughs.

"If this is what it feels like, then I wouldn't mind having pain in my ass." He grinned. And they both laughed again.

"Here you go, you got your wish fulfilled." She shook her head with a faint smile.

"Not all of them." He looked her seriously, which was really hard, considering the laugh that was bubbling inside him that moment.

"Whats left?" she looked puzzled, but he got up. With the most childish grin, he offered her his hand.

"Dance with me, Miyano." He tilted his head to the side, water dripping from his whole body. This time, she took it, as he pulled her up. With her hand on his shoulder, and his on her hips, they swayed to the tapping of the rain with the ground. A music, only they could hear. A silent rhythm. He twirled her in the rain, forgetting the wetness.

All the worries, the problems and the tensions faded in the background. What mattered, was the moment they were living. That very moment, when people were desperately looking for shelter, from the merciless rain, they both were getting soaked from head to toe. Dancing to a music, unknown to the world, they forgot the world they were in.

With each twirl, they laughed their heart out. With each pull, the shackles around their feet broke loos, as their problems disentangled one by one.

And just like that, for a moment, they were freed of the burdens of the unfair world.

Dripping from head to toe, he pulled her closer as he whispered in her ears.

"_The moon indeed is beautiful._" She smiled, the most open hearted smile, a true one that had vanished from her face just like the horns from a donkey's head.

And just like that, the whole universe was put in her hands, and her whole world lighted up. Never to fade again.

**A/N: For those who don't know, 'the moon is beautiful,' is a phrase used in Japan, to convey ones feelings. Or in simple words, it means 'I Love you'. I really liked this phrase, such a simple sentence, holding such a deep meaning. I love the moon a lot. Idk why, but I have a weird attachment to the moon. It gives me a sense of strength, and security. Its what we gazed at for hours, me and my best friend. At night I slept while looking at it through the window, knowing that she is looking at it too.**

**I still have a habit of looking at it, hoping that maybe, shes looking at it too. And miles apart, she might be thinking of me, just like Im of her.**

**Haha, thats why I wrote about the moon. My inspiration.**


	12. His Worlds

**A/N: For you'd always be a part of me, no matter where I go.**

He was sitting by the window, looking outside at the cheery girl laughing at something her friend said, oblivious of the person's stare. It was a windy day, and the wind ruffled her long black hair as she giggled shyly. He looked at the three friends, joking around, with a sad smile. He was once a part of these carefree teenagers.

He used to laugh with them, with her. She was his, and only his. And he knew, a part of her always would be. Things changed, they changed. But that's what we fail to understand. What changes, is the surface. Its the core that's hard to change. Which remains the same, hidden under the countless layers of the new surface. But its there. It always will be. He knows, deep down, hes still the same person. Deep down, she still wants him the way she did. But that feeling was buried now, buried deep within them. By everything that came in their way. And maybe neither of them even tried to take it out. At the end, both of them thought selfishly, only of themselves.

He notices someone coming up to him. He's still looking outside as a cup of steaming hot coffee is placed in front of him. Followed by her as she sits across from him, looking outside too.

"You miss her, don't you?" Miyano whispered, a hint of sadness in her tone. He looks up to her, her face masked up as it usually is. He never wants to talk about Ran in front of Miyano. He knows it hurts her. No matter how much she tries to cover it up. He knows the topic always saddens her, and that's something he never wants.

So he doesn't answer, as he sips his coffee.

"You can still go back, to her, to your own life. All you need is to apologize to her, once more. Even though its not your fault, but apologize. If that's the only way to turn things back." She's still looking out of the window. He tries to read her mind, but fails. He knew that she had made her walls high at the moment.

"It wasn't my fault. But it wasn't hers either." He answers softly. "She had to leave, it was too much for her to take."

"But you were there with her, weren't you? Even after everything, you were ready to start over with her. You both could've gone through it together." She stopped, "You both still can."

He shook his head, "She had a choice, she chose to leave. I don't blame her, I never did. She has her own problems to solve, her own matters to deal with. I can't possibly force her to deal with mines too. A person has a limit, Miyano, an extent to which they can carry the burden. If carrying mine would break her, Id rather carry it on my own shoulder."

"You care for her a lot, don't you?" She looked at him with a sad smile,

"More than anything." He whispered, but she heard him anyways.

"So you forgive her? For everything? She didn't even give you a chance to explain. Left you, when you needed her the most." He knew what she was doing, she was helping him clear his mind. Sort out the things. That's how she does it, shed see through you, and put all of your thoughts in front of you, ask you the same question your sub conscious does. And when you answer them, you get the answer to your own question. She was putting everything in front of him, to help him decide.

He took a deep breath, "Miyano, people make mistakes. Everybody does, we're humans. Many of those mistakes hurt us, break us. And that's the test isn't it? To find out how much we loved them. People make mistakes, what we need to figure is whether our love for them was greater than the mistakes they made. If you love them truly, you'd forgive them over and over again. No matter how many times they hurt you."

"So you wanna go back?" She looked him in the eye, and he shook his head.

"When you love someone, truly and deeply, you'd want that person to be happy. Even if you're not a part of that happiness." He took another sip of coffee.

"You love her, and you're ready to forgive her, yet you don't want to go back?" It was a simple question.

"I don't know." He dropped his head in his hands, he really didn't know what to tell her. He felt something soft in his hair, he looked up, she was gently moving her hands in his hair.

"You know you can talk about anything with me, don't you?" she looked at him with a soft smile, "I am, after all, your Watson."

"That's the thing!" He said frustrated, "I feel like a criminal talking to you about her. You mean a lot to me, Miyano, you literally do. You've gone through hell, just for my sake. You've done a lot for me" His voice slowed done, "And after everything you did, its quite unfair if I talk to you about her, isn't it?" He was broken. Between two worlds constantly pulling him. He didn't know what to do, where to go. He knew he loved Miyano far more than he loved Ran. He knew that. But a part of him always belonged to Ran. He misses her. A lot. More than anything. he had imagined everything, he knew he would have to go through many battles. But if there was one thing he never expected, it was her leaving him. He didn't expect that. He knew shed always be there for him, at least as a friend. They had no future together, this point, they both agree on. But couldn't she at least stay friends.

And then there was Miyano. She was his best friend, his partner. She meant the world to him. He never lied about that. He never lied about his feelings for her. It was all true. And that's why he never wants to talk about Ran in front of her.

"It hurts you, doesn't it?" He said, "When I talk about her. It hurts you. You think about everything you've done for me, and then everything she did. It hurts you, that even after everything, I still miss her. I still want her back. You feel like everything you've done meant nothing. You feel like all your efforts have gone waste. I'm so ungrateful, ain't I? That's what you think." He looked at her, with a broken face. He knew he was right, they both knew.

"Kudo," she said softly, "I never expect you to forget her. I know how much she means to you. I know that. And it'd be unfair if I tell you to forget her. It does hurt me, a little bit. But you know what compensates that hurt? That you've trusted me enough to open up to me. I like it when you throw off your, 'I'm a cool detective and can handle everything', face and admit that you break too. That you're a human. I like seeing this part of you, for I know nobody else sees this. Our friendship, its far more stronger than we think it is. And it cant be bothered by something that's in the past. You love her-"

"Not as much as you." He cut her off, "I only miss her. But I never compare her to you. Maybe at times I do, I just think about what shed do if she was here. But don't you ever think, even for a moment that I compare you to her." He took her hands, in his own. "You both have a different place in my heart. Ran has her own, and nobody can it take it away. And so do you. Nobody can ever take your place. You don't have to prove yourself more than Ran. You already have your place. And its permanent."

She smiled, "But I'll like it if you tell me everything that goes in your mind."

"Right now, I just miss her." He looks out of the window, they were long gone. "I'm just broken,"

"Then let me fix you." She says, but he shook his head.

"Nobody but me can fix me. And I'm trying to. Its just, at times, everything comes back to me, all at once. And I have nobody to talk to."

"You have me, you always will." Her grip on his hands tightened and he nodded, "I know"

"Is it wrong if I miss her?" He asks genuinely.

"Its wrong if you don't. She was special to you, she always will be. It would be unfair if you forget her."

"What about you?"

"Me? Id still be here. Whether you miss her or not. But I'd be here. Cheer you up, whenever you're down. But I won't stop you from missing her. But that doesn't mean I won't try my best to heal the scars she left behind."

He smiled, he felt real better now.

"Promise me you won't leave me one day, no matter what."

"I won't, even if given the choice. I won't leave. Id stay, and wed fight. Together." She said with such confidence that he couldn't help being sure.

"Forever & Always." He nodded.

"Till death do us part."

And he didn't knew, whats lies ahead. Whether they could keep this promise or not. But for now, this was enough. For now, what mattered was that shes here. Right now, in this moment. You never know what tomorrow holds for you. But that's the game, isn't it? Live in the moment, appreciate what you have right now. Spend the time you have, the best you can. Make these moment worth it, even if you're not there the next day. At least you know you lived something that was worth missing.

He won't forget Ran. She gave him his strength. He'd always miss her. But that doesn't mean he'd value Miyano less. They both were his world. And they all will be.

**A/N: Uhh, idk where this came from, maybe I do. Its not exactly shinShi. But I dont think Shinichi ever needs to forget or get Ran out of his life to stay with Shiho. I think thatd be unfair. I think he can go with both of them together. For its not easy to replace somebody. heck, its impossible. I feel like Ran should stay in the picture, but that doesn't mean Shiho can't.**

**Well thats my view. I really hope that maybe you'd like this one. If you dont, its okay, dont blame you=)**


	13. Her Safe Place

She opened her eyes and she was still there. In her bed, her entire body drowning in sweat. She tried to steady her breathing, telling herself it was all nothing but another nightmare. Her body didn't jolt right up, nor did she wake up with screaming, like in those senseless third grade movies, no. She kept lying there, panting. Her body shivering. She pulled the covers higher, despite knowing she wasn't feeling cold. In fact, she was feeling real hot.

She took deep breaths, telling herself it was just another night, trying to assure herself the she was safe. But it doesn't work like that. She looked at the clock, 3 AM. She sighed, when will these days be finally over? When is she going to sleep soundly like a normal person. Is she ever even going to have anything normal?

She got up, knowing it was useless to try sleeping. She knew she wasn't going to sleep anytime soon. She'd just toss and turn. Turning her bedside lamp on, she rummaged through her drawer and took out two pills. She needed aspirin to sooth that annoying headache. Getting up, she took her shawl and wrapped it around her shoulders. She knew what to do, she knew where to go.

Getting out of her room, her suspicions were confirmed as she saw light coming through the slightly opened door of her study. She walked through the darkness soundlessly, and opened the door as quietly as she could, a normal person wouldn't have even noticed that. But again, he wasn't normal. They weren't normal. Despite being completely into the book in his hand, he said without even looking up;

"Another nightmare?" He sounded disappointed. She didn't reply, simply went and sat beside him. A cup of coffee was placed on the table in front of him, she picked it up without a second thought and took a sip. Her senses were finally calming down. She peeked over his shoulder,

"A Scandal In Bohemia?" She raised her eyebrow. He never gets tried of reading this over and over again. "How many times have you read it again?"

"Heyy!" He glanced sideways at her, "I haven't read it that many times."

"Right." She rolled her eyes, "Its only the hundredth time."

"Not true!" His voice was defensive, "Besides, its so interesting. And each time I read it, I find something new." He now closed the book and was had turned to her completely.

"That was my coffee." He pointed.

"Yeah, not that bad." She shrugged and he shook his head,

"Seriously woman. Do you even have the slightest manners?"

"Why? Wan't some? I can clearly see your lack thereof." She answered smoothly and he cringed,

"I'm never gonna win against you, am I?" he sighed, dejected.

"I'll make sure to fulfill your beliefs." She smirked, and he smiled. She offered the cup to him and he took it,

"There's a word called 'thankyou', nice people use it you know." She commented,

"You can go take coffee from those nice people." He took a sip, and then corrected, "Steal, actually."

"Oh wow, somebody is learning how to fire back." She clapped sarcastically,

"And somebody is getting sarcasticer."

"Sarcastic-er?" She snorted, putting her hand out, "Somebody needs to learn his words."

"This is a word!" He was offended. Yet, he placed the cup in her outstretched hands, which she took.

"Not really," she took in a large gulp. "Its 'more sarcastic'"

"Thief." He said irritated.

"Dumb." She retorted.

"Evil woman!"

"Man child."

It was quite common for them to call each other names. He started it most of the time, for he was such a big baby. Seriously, she fails to understand how can someone this childish be such a good detective. But she never minds it, instead, she actually likes this. Its almost normal.

That's why she likes him. He never makes her feel not-normal. He never judges her, no matter what he finds out, he's still there. He never let go of her hand since he took it. Always there for her. And she knows he behaves likes this, mostly to lighten her up. To keep her happy. To give her a reason to smile.

"You're such a big witch." He said disapprovingly.

"And you're an-" she thought about the right word, "Asshole." She smirked finding the perfect word.

"Your asshole," He grinned sheepishly, and her face softened.

"Sometimes its real hard to stop myself from throwing you off a cliff. But I can't." She said disappointed,

"Because you love me so much." He gave her a cute puppy eyed look,

"Not at all." She made a disgusted face, "I can't throw you for you're too heavy for me to push."

"But I can't believe you won't find a way to, only if I want."

"Nah, I've got something better in my mind." She shrugged, "Nice hair by the way. Did you get a hair cut?" she gave his hair a cursory glance.

"Thankyou?" He said cautiously, "What are you planning to do?"

"Nothing." She hummed,

"I don't believe you." He eyed her suspiciously,

"Don't." She shrugged. He sighed, he knew she won't tell him why she said that. She never does, but she always has reasons to say something. She never says something just by the ways.

It was silent after that. Just the sound of their breathing.

"Can you please go sleep?" He asks after a while. She knows he can see that he had calmed her down, and that she isn't thinking about the nightmare. She doesn't even remember it now. And shes glad, he always does it. Makes her forget her worries and give her a shot at normal life.

"You can sleep here yunno." He said noticing her quietness, he was right. She didn't wan't to sleep alone. She nodded as she placed the empty cup on the table in front of them. He opened his arms and she made herself comfortable in them. Putting her head on his shoulder and her hand on his chest, she said after a while,

"How can you love someone like me? Even after everything you know about me?" She was just wondering.

"I love you, because of everything I know about you." He said softly, "Everything I find out about you, makes me fall deeper for you. I admire you, a lot. I admire how even after everything you went through, you're still standing. After falling a hundred times, you got up. I love how determined you are. I love the way you handle everything on your own. But I wan't to be there, I wan't to be there to hold you, I wan't to be your someone to fall back on."

"But I'm too tainted." She said quietly, she didn't deserve someone as pure as him. "And you have the purest heart I've ever seen,"

"How many times do i have to tell you that your past doesn't define you. You've left all that. You've started over again. That's what matters, you regret, and you repented. That's what decides who you are. You're not bad Miyano, you're a real good person, to whom bad stuff have happened. Stuff you didn't deserve. You've got a heart made of gold. A heart I've never seen before. A heart that beats for others. You say I've a pure soul, but you know what? I still can't beat you. Despite my soul, I can never care the way you do. Nobody can." He moved a strand of hair out of her face.

"Its time you forgive yourself. Its time you learn how to love yourself. And that's what I wan't to do. I want to show you that even you can be loved. In fact, its hard not to love you." He chuckled, "You're no doubt a rude, bossy, sarcastic woman with an evil face. But that's why I love you. I love you for who you are, and this won't change. You're not normal, and I love that. I love you because of all your imperfections. I love the whole of you."

He counted on his fingers, and she closed her eyes. All her stress was fading away.

"You, out of all people, deserve to get the best. You deserve someone who'd love you till the end. Its time you free yourself from the shackles of past. And I really want to be the one who pulls your hand through this journey. And I will be. I'll always be there. In front of you, to protect you from every evil. Behind you; to catch you when you fall. And beside you, never letting you feel alone. I'd always be here. Just let me in. Let me help you. Nobody can handle everything on their own. You're not iron man, Miyano, you're a human. And humans fall apart. I just want you to let me in, so I can hold you and keep you away from falling apart. Let me into your world, and we'll tackle every problem in the way, avoid every thorn. We'll get through everything, together. We'll get through it. And one day, you'll see in yourself what I see. You'll see how precious you are. You'll see that you're gold. Everything will be over one day, just don't lose hope. Keep holding onto that thread,"

His voice was putting her to sleep, "Don't let anyone take that out of you. Don't let anyone take your smile away. Don't let anyone define you. See the brighter side, you'll always find something. Just don't lose yourself. Everything will be fine. Its all gonna go away, and one day, you'll feel free. And content, when you see everything that you have, when you see where you stand. Surrounded by hundreds of people who love you. And if there's not a single person, I'd still be there. And I'd be the whole world for you. Even if its only me, Id stand with you. Till my last breath."

"I love you, Kudo-kun." She said as her body landed slowly in the deep sea of sleep.

"I love you more, Miyano. I always will." He pulled her closer, and held her tight. For the first time, she felt safe. As if nothing could touch her, as if she had a shield. And she knew no demons would dare come near her. She knew he was there to fight them off.

She held him close, as she slowly fell asleep. She knew she'd have no nightmare, she was in her safe place. She felt home, He was her safe place.

**A/N: Hope you like it, **


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